Opposites Attract

huh sarah has a cock?

I'm confused Sarah is a girl, Hope's sister, yet half way through the story she produces a cock so is she transgender??

The clues are there

Did you miss the sentence that contained "but Sarah had only had her own hands since her sex-change two years before"? That sentence explains things to me.

Yes, I did miss the "sex change" explanation, tucked away in a short sentence at the end of a paragraph.

Talk about "burying the lead"? It wasn't until you pointed it out and I went looking for it that I became aware of it. Really would have been appropriate to include that detail near the BEGINNING of the story.

A very odd story

You have some good ideas but are not putting them together. You may be surprised sometime by the person you desire. Just stay observant

Every story has a story.

There are some stories that pave a path for relaying the next. We needed That story in order to make this one viable. Without it the reader is lost and searching for direction. A voyuer moment or historical blink explaining how and why Sarah has a cock would greatly improve this story. One sentence is not enough in this story.

Some clarification.

I know there isn'r an explaination as to why Sarah is a Transsexual. I did this on purpose. Her being Transsexual is important for the plot of the next chapter, which I'm getting planned now.

It will be explained, in detail, in chapter 2. I wanted this one to open the way to the next and this kind of opening for a story or book is what I've seen professional writers do, like Stephen King with the Dark Tower series. Believe me, I intend to build on the characters in Chaper 2.

Confused

I think you should have "introduced" or at the very least explained Sarah after she discoverd the photos of herself "while she stroked her hard cock" in paragraph 3.
I quickly scanned through the rest of the story looking for such an explaination, thinking maybe Sarah was either a play name for a brother masquerading as a female, or a pre-op tranny. Lost interest when I didn't see any.

Great story, love how you went with something different

Happy To Help

Im so happy that i could help you in the idea that made you go on and write a story about the roleplay. I hope i can help you creat more story's for this site and its users to enjoy.

Love you allways,

Hope xxx