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English
Repitition is sometimes a good thing when writing
sometimes it's too much of a good thing
it would have been nice
to break from the "Forbidden lover", pleasant surprise, no rhyming coups
I try to blow your mind - overused
this is very good effort on organization, try to rid it of things that you heard before
5 but new writer five
~
What does ' you are all hers to tow' mean, has it only been used because it rhymes?
not just a rhyme. .
"All hers to tow" is referring to the fact the forbidden lover is a married man and because of this must follow the whims of a wife...The speaker is recognizing the wife's rights over her husband.
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thank you
Thanks for the critiques. ...they will help in future writing.
Bohemian Beauty
I must admit I like a poem that has a solid, and stable rhythm and rhyme, so there were some stiff parts to this poem where this didn't happen. But I liked the start of each verse being the same. It felt like a 70's Bohemian (I think I'm recalling this right) poetry piece. The repetition is the rhythm. Knowing that I've been involved in forbidden love this poem cuts me to the core, and leaves my open and exposed halves bleeding in the light of day. I know I didn't ever want to leave my lover. But everytime I did I just wanted her more.
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