Murray, You Owe Me

Didn't read it all

thought all I read was well constructed. Liked the ballad cadence sing songing down the page set/match

This is wonderful but way too long

If you broke it into three or four parts, submitted separately, I think you'd get a lot more reads. But your writing is delightful (and I'm not usually one for limericks). It's very engaging. I hope to read more of you albeit in shorter pieces. :-)

I'm going to recommend your poem on our Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. If you want to check it out, stop by. We have a lot of fun writing there. Here's a link that will take you to the poetry forum. Thanks for the read.

http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.ph p?f=25

I'm not even a tennis fan - and I still liked this. But it's too long to keep the attention of most. The rhyme is well done too.

Apologies to all the _real_ poets

Thank you all for the feedback. I had a suspicion this would not go down well with true pioneers of the craft, because it's not really poetry, but had I submitted it in any other story category it would have been rejected outright. I didn't realise poems could be submitted in pieces and that there was an unwritten length limit, so thank you for the insight.

I doubt I shall be submitting anything else in this category; I'll leave that to the connoisseurs! I just decided to try something different. If I had written the account up in full it would have taken my usual months of redrafts and tinkering, so I tried a rhyme instead to be in with a chance of publishing it before summer ended. While I was toying with a (very loose) dactylic hexameter, the beats of the limerick-like structure seemed more natural and fun. It began to flow reasonably well and take shape, so here it is.

Now with tge Royal Baby

You two can go at it again & blame it on Kate ---- how about " Kate , you owe me ....."

With such lust were your words laced
By golly never have I been
As enthralled by an ace
When you sat on his face
And I Wonder if with Murray this year you repeated this scene?