All Comments on 'Murray, You Owe Me'

thought all I read was well constructed. Liked the ballad cadence sing songing down the page set/match

If you broke it into three or four parts, submitted separately, I think you'd get a lot more reads. But your writing is delightful (and I'm not usually one for limericks). It's very engaging. I hope to read more of you albeit in shorter pieces. :-)

I'm going to recommend your poem on our Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. If you want to check it out, stop by. We have a lot of fun writing there. Here's a link that will take you to the poetry forum. Thanks for the read.

http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=25

I'm not even a tennis fan - and I still liked this. But it's too long to keep the attention of most. The rhyme is well done too.

Thank you all for the feedback. I had a suspicion this would not go down well with true pioneers of the craft, because it's not really poetry, but had I submitted it in any other story category it would have been rejected outright. I didn't realise poems could be submitted in pieces and that there was an unwritten length limit, so thank you for the insight.

I doubt I shall be submitting anything else in this category; I'll leave that to the connoisseurs! I just decided to try something different. If I had written the account up in full it would have taken my usual months of redrafts and tinkering, so I tried a rhyme instead to be in with a chance of publishing it before summer ended. While I was toying with a (very loose) dactylic hexameter, the beats of the limerick-like structure seemed more natural and fun. It began to flow reasonably well and take shape, so here it is.

You two can go at it again & blame it on Kate ---- how about " Kate , you owe me ....."

With such lust were your words laced

By golly never have I been

As enthralled by an ace

When you sat on his face

And I Wonder if with Murray this year you repeated this scene?

long at sex, short at poetry - have that tated on your quim