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bacon eggs and beer

bycavu182©
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Comments (4)
by Anonymous

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by erectus12307/25/13

well done

nicely erotic

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by twelveoone07/25/13

hey

not rhyming coups, 5 for that
shorten by two stanzas
you got a wrap.

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by HarryHill07/25/13

good to see you cavu

liked the story but not that repeating end line. I think you got caught up in the rhythm and missed an opportunity to do something extraordinary in those lines.

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by Desejo07/25/13

Agreed with Harry - I don't think you need the final lines in each stanza. Liked this otherwise.

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