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English
Repairs just go on and on
don't they? Your writing is nicely pared down and to the point. A beautiful sustained metaphor to me.
Deeper than a walk
A poem of growth. Here's some marbles to go along with the bricks. very nice.
Introspective....
...and simple. Would and "S" added to brick in L6 be too many? I like the sibilence but that's just me. Loved it, of course.
Spare, but enough said.
I agree with Ange here. I like the compact neatness of this poem, it speaks volumes. Very nice.
5ed
but a suggestion (consider)
Invert the two three line stanzas
this will be at the bottom - what do you think? too leading?
persistent reminders blurring this phase
of my emotional landscape
stanzas are like bricks, sometimes you got to shuffle them around.
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