by EducatedOwl
Should have ended there (disclaimer) would have been unspoken magic. 5*
though I agree with Harry, it's too long to hold all but really dedicated readers. There are some little things I might do differently, too, like get rid of some of the "ands" and other words that seem extraneous to me. But that may just reflect my preference. The images really grab the reader, love that.
Thanks for sharing it. :-)
Loved this, "When you kiss me I wonder Are you trying To reclaim something lost To fill the awkward silence" and the juxtaposition of the two 'times" in the same setting!
I feel the final verse gives closure to the piece. Almost like closing a book and snapping back to reality.