If you've read it and have the time...any feedback would be great. Too short? Too long? Not erotic enough? What's missing? Just right? Etc....
Also, check out my other stories too...and critique...I like feedback regarding the stories and writing style....I aim for "great stories"
Thanks!
I'm nowhere near a perfect writer but even I can see you need to cut down the size of your paragraphs. You also need to make sure only one point of view or person's conversation is presented in each paragraph. You need to watch spelling and word choice/ usage also. Many words chosen were incorrect.
I liked the idea you presented in this story--we ALL dream of having our wife so hot for US alone that she would willingly be our own personal little slut. This premise was good but the writing detracted from the story greatly.
English
Any feedback would be great
If you've read it and have the time...any feedback would be great. Too short? Too long? Not erotic enough? What's missing? Just right? Etc....
Also, check out my other stories too...and critique...I like feedback regarding the stories and writing style....I aim for "great stories"
Thanks!
Had Potential BUT...
I'm nowhere near a perfect writer but even I can see you need to cut down the size of your paragraphs. You also need to make sure only one point of view or person's conversation is presented in each paragraph. You need to watch spelling and word choice/ usage also. Many words chosen were incorrect.
I liked the idea you presented in this story--we ALL dream of having our wife so hot for US alone that she would willingly be our own personal little slut. This premise was good but the writing detracted from the story greatly.
Keep Trying.
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