All Comments on 'Meagan Handcuffs Her Sexy Black Man!'

by ImagineThat92

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  • 2 Comments
jamesoffljamesofflover 10 years ago
not a story

you have written this more like a script for a movie not as a story so its sort of cold when you read it but keep trying

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Weird..

Your tense changes make the story feel weird to read- try and stick in present tense, otherwise it will sound like a movie script - emotionless, and lacking that impact -

Anonymous
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