- All
Comments (4) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
great! nice erotic piece
nice change of pace, well written, strong vocabulary.
Lots of good stuff here Tod
some really good images and the alliteration is not overpowering. It does go on rather long which is not necessarily a bad thing but you might want to start looking at a poem a week or two after you write it to see if there is anything you want to change or cut. I often find that a little space leads me to see where I can lose unnecessary words or tighten up the language overall. It's like the difference between diluting and concentrating: concentrated is more powerful.
Just my opinion and thanks for sharing it. :)
~
Nothing quite like using a man in bondage :)
Tasty lines
I thrust the air
As if it will submit to my needs
Gives both a picture and a feeling. Great work!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to TASTE or
More submissions by todski28.