- All
Comments (10) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
rather dull
the characters are static, the dialogue is childish, and there are many grammatical errors. Also, chapter is too short. There's not even enough here to make me want to read any more of your story. Readers here might not expect perfect prose, but we don't want to be BORED!
I think it was exciting and not suffocating as most story, characters are ok, young and full of life.
Dull
Agree that it was a bit boring. No excitement involved. No suspense. Doesn't flow very well. Many grammatical errors.
I think it was good :)
I think there's plenty of potential here. You should continue the story and take the comments as small hints not people trash talking your story. And please continue this story
x
I think it was great I was all into it but wherez the rest?
Fuck you need an editor!
lord
I agree editor needed desperately asap
Good story line
Despite what these losers said I think your story was great. I loved the story line. The hell with these haters. Who in the hell is paying attention to the grammatical errors. Sooooo what, is that gonna hinder your imagination to run its course? Go figure. Focus more on what's going on here and just enjoy the story. No body is forcing your English teacher asses to read it.
fantastic
This story is a masterpiece
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Romeo and Tre Ch. 01 or
More submissions by Black2Passion.