Rules of Marriage Ch. 04 - FTDS

Neither

Good effort but to be honest I don't believe this ends any better than the celt's. It certainly ends in a manner I prefer but the story itself is a stereotype and predictable. I don't believe that the abusive bitch the celt created in Ch. 4 wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes with Sam this version of "perfection" is equally unbelievable. I like the victim getting their due but this was too contrived. You, and others, may suppose a man who leaves his children for a year might be willing to come back like this but I don't believe the character from the celt would abandon his daughters for the rest of their lives so easily. My opinions about your choices. There are plenty of stories here to end in your way so keep after it.

Better leaving

Someone cheats I honestly feel they have something really wrong with their mind set

The kids?

I really feel sorry for the innocent daughters...collateral damage I guess.

5*s and i am yet to read this story!!

Just the idea of you finishing those half told stories rates 5 stars actually 10 stars!! You have your work cut out when you venture into JPBs library lol. Anyways as the saying Goes "Who was that mask man? i dont know but he left a Finished Story". Hi Ho quil away! you are a real hero in our little LW section. Maybe now the authors will take the time to finish their stories OR fall pray to "The FTDS". BRAVO!! And now back to the story! BTW write lots of pages for us OK

Gone for a full year and he never takes responsibility for his actions?

He didn't just leave her, that I could understand; but he abandoned his girls. Discarded them like garbage and when his ex wife, that he miraculously divorced without her knowledge, takes him to task for it, all he can say is she drove him away?

Any male that can abandon his children and think that a 5 minute hug and some pop is going to fix them is NOT a man at all, he is a coward. A piece of shit...and that is an insult to shit.

God help his new wife if she fucks up because he'll abandon her children as well.

A bit of a dick

He kind of came off as a bit of a dick in your ending--if he saw the kids again, fine and if he didn't, that was fine too.

It could have been better.

Putting lipstick on a pig

that is all you are doing here; putting lipstick on the celt's pig. In this case it's cheap lipstick. Abandoning his children to a slut? Meh!

Nice ending...

...but no real surprise or alternative. Nevertheless I am pleased that there is someone to complete the stories . Don´t give it up.
Perhaps one or two pages more could have spiced it up a bot more..but: well done.

Much Better Ending

A little short & rough but in essence a much better ending. The original ending tried make it the guys fault or partially his fault, as many bitch writers are wont to do.
In fact he was the victim, and acted accordingly. But in the world of bitch writers the cheating slut still managed to live happily ever after. Ah well! Celt hasn't submitted anything for awhile, maybe her husband but a gag on that bitch. This site is much better off without her.

The Kids

I tend to agree with the comments about hubby. In my continuation, I don't like to change the original story. The man abandoned his family for a year. I find that hard to accept. I would think he'd write, skype, call, do something with the kids. In the original he sent them gifts for their birthday and Christmas. That's it.

He DID say, he'd fight for custody, if she kept up her behavior. She didn't, so according to his own decision, he wouldn't.

That's how theCelt wrote it. The man IS a dick. He's moved on. He'd like to have something to do with his kids, but doesn't seem to matter that much. That's how I interpreted the original character.

As such, I believe any issues anyone has with his behavior concerning the kids, is justified. He is selfish, to leave for a year, without almost no contact, and just move on. Not the most likable protagonist, I agree.

Thanks for the honest feedback.

Alls Well that Ends Well

Love the ending. the girls were the casualty here. However, a loveless marriage with a slut that would keep on doing the same thing is no way to live . Long live the loyal and those who take their vows seriously.

One or the other

2 camps tend to comment here, people who've had real relationships (spouses, children) and understand the realities of life - they could no more abandon their kids than cut off their arm; and people who've never had a LTR or are psychopaths and exist in a vacuum of sorts - their absolutist view is based upon never having experienced love for another, only themselves.

A "real man" will take abuse from his boss, eat beans and rice, etc - whatever it takes to satisfy his responsibility as a father; an "internet hard man" will serve himself and his desires and ego to the detriment of his responsibilities.

Simple as that.

Just because you are a cheater doesn't mean you aren't owed some basic civility. Frankly, most of the wife's arguments in thecelt's version worked for me because there were some justifications to her feelings. Dad DID run away. Dad DID abandon his daughters.

That being said, while she did some personal growth, SHE NEEDED IT. One weak spot in thecelts story.

This version...well, the hubby doesn't feel like the original character. Not so much.

And exactly how does that work "I came here to see my daughters, but I already booked another flight in 20 minutes to go away." Which is it? That is a meaningful damned twenty minutes!

It feels like a fantasy: hot Nordic totally devoted woman who gives up her career to follow a guy and magically gets pregnant. Certainly she isn't put off at all by the fact he DOESN'T have a divorce and might be leading her on...or that the sight of his daughters will melt his rock hard heart (he's LESS sympathetic that thecelt's version).

Maybe I'm cynical. I didn't like the guy.

Ha ha

If you can't be more of a father than that, then I'm rooting for the other side. I guess at least you managed to make him totally deserving of getting cucked the way he did.

Bend the Rules next time

There are many stories that I have read where I would love an ending and I am glad that somebody else also tries to write them.

As a life long fan of fan fiction I can certainly understand the desire to 'stick to canon' and respect you for doing so.

That said there are times when a break from canon is allowed. You have stated how you would have liked daddy to act - Perhaps you could write an ending to this story in which Dad behaves as you wish.

No longer 'based on' but more an 'inspired by' kind of story.

Feel free to change a few details. If your going to write an ending then fixing a few flaws while you do so is allowed.

Thanks for writing and I'll be sampling your next submissions.

?

I don't understand the obsessive compulsion by some to attempt to rewrite stories. Real life must be a bitch because you can't rewrite history. BTW I commend you on the link which enabled me to find the orginal story.

thecelt's ending to this story was great

It actually had some nuance, legitimate emotions from both characters. Some honesty, and and ending that feels real.

This version is just a hot mess.

Why

First of all TheCelt did finish the orginal story. I didn't view this as an improvement to his chapter 4. This version was flat with no drama. I was not a big fan of the original ending however it was vastly superior to this.

Hey thanks for the link it's been a long time since I've read anything by TheCelt. IMHO one of the best authors on Lit

Saying all that shit in front of his kids is fucked up.

I realize that you brought them into the initial scene in order to make a visual impact, but what kind of complete douchebag says all that in front of his kids? Tells them that he deliberately abandoned them in order to punish their mother? Tells them he cares more about making his own new family than about the kids he already has?

Yeah, she's a disrespectful bitch, but he's a cunt who treats his kids like shit.

I haven't read TheCelt's story and it doesn't really sound worth reading from her bitchy attitude and his self-involved disrespect for his own kids, and hell, maybe they aren't "really" his kids, but that doesn't seem to be the case when he's half-heartedly making comments to be with them despite sitting there in front of them and talking about how he cares more about his new family.

That's just a shitty way to treat your kids, and ensure that they remain in therapy for their adult lives.

FYI: Using your story to score political points in marriages is fucking bullshit. I'm not going to score you down for it, but political views are no part of marriage, and the man that expects his wife to change her political views AFTER marrying her is a fucking tool. Either they agree or they don't.

Nice try....

The character of Sam in this version was far more shallow than the first version. His actions were on par with the wife. Your efforts, though, are appreciated. Thank you for the story.

This is pathetic

thecelt wrote a sophisticated story of real adults getting it wrong. This is a childish revenge story of an immature mind.

Ok wait

So this story, as my previous comment stated, was not my cup of tea at all. But it wasnt half as bad as 90% of the btb stuff that comes by...the level of vitriol here is extreme.

The quality of the writing was sound as a pound, as I assume Brits still say.

One of the great myths

Of the LW genre is that, in real life, husbands get to declaim speeches from their pulpits while the wives just sit there and listen. That's just a BTB wet dream. In real life, you'd be talking to the wife's back assuming that she showed up at all.

Women neither want nor need nor would put up with your pompous oratory. You'd be talking to yourself in one of these guy fantasies about "I'll give that bitch a real talking-to." Sure you will. Dream on. Women can quickly see if they're going to get what they want or not and if they're not, they don't hang around to play audience.

The Celt's story was finished. Yours is just a childish rant. Instead of this, why not get an education & a job and try to become a man that a woman might want.

Wow that was ugly.

Your ending seemed simplistic and implausible. Instead of two adults with problems, you reduced them to a couple of 6 year old children fighting over a sucker. With his new attitude, I liked him FAR less than the cheating wife. You made him even less appealing when he simply declares that his two children were of no importance to him. He comes off as a narcissistic, self-centered prick. And his thoughts that his traveling would make him exempt from the law seems unrealistic. The Celts version, although not appealing to my romantic side, was much better done than your rewritten ending. Try again. There are a Ton of unfinished stories out there.

missed the boat on this one

nice to try to write a better ending, but read the story your trying to finish first.
thecelt pretty much tied up the loose ends. You didn't like the wife not enough suffering, so get over it. It would have been better if you would have wrote the missing chapter of while he was gone she suffered. Not the ending.
thanks

TheCelt had this one right

I thought thecelt did a better job of this story.

Well done. 5*

Please, finish some more stories, and start some of your own, too.

My 2 Cents

There were only 2 ways for this end. Either he wimps out as he did thecelts version or he doesn't. If he stayed home she would have continued to disrespect him along with her dad. He would have seen the kids every other weekend at best. She wouldn't have had her "breakdown". The kids would have suffered in any event. She made no effort to have the kids communicate with him so she could break him down. They could have skyped with him at her mom's house. They could have sent him letters pictures etc through his boss or lawyer. She could have passed on information about her "progress" and revelations the same way but chose not to. It was all about her. She didn't even leave her job. She chose them to be collateral damage.

That said the 20 minute reunion and the mysterious one sided divorce areas that needed work. It was a good effort. Maybe you will try to end Revelations??

shit story

Write and u own stories and stop fucking up others.

Anonymous

Commented that women do not sit still for speeches from husbands in situations like this. Hogwash. The couples counseling mandated by family court in most infidelity divorces specifically assigns the aggrieved spouse just this a speech to his or her spouse.

Yours is better

I went back and read all four chapters. I remember reading it before, but really paid attention this time, knowing I was about to read an alternative ending. I found the original ending sad, disjointed and a little bit odd. She cheated, he left and she was mad at him for leaving and turned the tables on him when he returned, demanding he understand her pain and what she had been through for the last year. I find this odd, especially in light of the fact she had professional counseling where she learned she was responsibile for her actions which led from her attitude of disrespect. So what does she do in Chapter four, but heap piles of more disrespect on him when he returns?....as I said: odd and disjointed. Let's face it...she didn't learn anything.

Thus, I find FTDS' story a lot more realistic. The first story certainly set up the ending...he went off for a year and was going to live by her rules, and he even warned her he might fall in love with someone else. I find this ending much more realistic and also more "true" to the original story. I think a women who went through counseling would have presented a totatlly different response when her husband returned after a year. Thus the original chapter four, imho was too far off the mark and this version makes much more sense and is well written.

nice job

I liked your ending far better. And you're right. It's better for kids to live with the love of two parents that are divorced than two live in a home where parents express no love for each other.

Also, there's nothing wrong with Sam finding someone he can fully trust. It wasn't about pubishment. Not at all, it was about committment, love, respect, AND trust.

You can't force yourself or anyone else to bestow those characteristics on anyone. If those emotions aren't there - they're not there.

The "Kristen" in this story didn't square with the Kristen in ch 3. You seem to have taken the low road and made her look worse than she already was.5

Kristen's changes

tiger46: I agree that this Kristen is different from the woman in chapter 3. She is patterned after the woman in chapter 4, after she's been apart for a year, and saw her 'therapist'.

The main thing that drove me to want to continue this story, was her behavior in chapter 4. She was not at all repentant. She was aggressive, attacking, wanting him to do things her way, or not at all:

---
"I think you need to talk to me before you make any decisions. I don't know what you think you are doing but you need to remember that there are three other people involved in this. For the past year, you thought only about yourself when you left me here to fend for the girls and myself. The money you provided was fine, but it wasn't you." My anger had been building since Sam rejected me at the airport. I decided that it had to find an outlet and Sam was it. He was not the only one that paid a heavy price when he left me. He had better learn that fact soon.

Again, Sam was shocked that I wasn't falling all over myself to make amends and beg for his forgiveness. That wasn't going to happen unless and until he sat down with me and worked on the marriage that we shared. If it was over, I would learn to live with that, but I was not going to live this way."
--

I did nothing out of the ordinary for that meeting. I felt that we needed to work things out and that we needed to start on an even level. I had to proceed that way since I wasn't going to beg or grovel. Sam was as wrong in this as I was. Yes, I had cheated and betrayed him but he had left me and my children. We both had problems. I had tried to overcome mine by understanding why I had done what I did and to make changes to my life to be sure they didn't happen again. Sam had run away. At least, that's how I saw it. Maybe that was unreasonable but I didn't think so.
---

Jeez! In that last paragraph, every single sentence was a good reason to dump her. I could break it down, line by line, but I doubt anyone needs the help. It's clear.

The woman in chapter 4 was a bitch. It was now his fault, and he'd do things her way or the highway. Who would want to stay with that?

I believe this is why the first three chapters averaged about a 4.45, with two H ratings, and the ending was a 3.58.

Sorry

While the Celt's ending was a little weak following three remarkable chapters, yours just does not measure up as good writing or as providing insight into the two characters, especially Kristen's.

Not Worth The Effort

When Sam came back, he hadn't changed. He expected Kristen to be all submissive and slobbery apologetic and willing to obey his commands. Sam hadn't even worked on his attitude or anything else that would help him to be more introspective and reflective. Kristen, on the other hand, went through a nervous breakdown, therapy, and being a single parent, and found her assertive, apologetic self who COULD be trusted to do the right thing. Good for her!
Your story, on the other hand, basically makes a mockery of all that Kristen went through to get to where she is now and tries to make Sam a stubborn hero. Celt's ending fit the story MUCH better than your ending EVER could. Your ending isn't even written as well as Celt's entire story.
If you insist on rewriting endings to other stories, at least use the characters as they were in the story you are trying to rewrite. At this point, your efforts are efforts in futility.

Fait Accompli

This ending makes ANY action or decision of Sweetie irrelevant. Hubby set an ambiguous position in the original...Hubby said it two ways, but there WAS one fork in the road that Hubby would come back in a year and iron out how they would proceed! NOT SO! He comes back with a pregnant fiancée. He could have declared to Sweetie 3-4 months ago that he was instituting the 'divorce' option which was the OTHER fork in that ambiguous road!

This ending also strongly suggests that something like this was his intention before he left! Weak as it was, TheCelt's ending honored the aspect set up by Hubby that they would each consider their feasibility of their relationship resuming, and the changes they might each have to make to accomplish that! Sweetie DID that, and to a lesser degree, Hubby honestly considered her changes. That reconciliation ultimately did NOT work out, which was clearly a very likely scenario, but it WAS given the chance Hubby seemed to promise!

Wow

how could he just leave his kids?

It seems as he had no intention of ever getting back with her since he brought with him a pregnant fiance

A good finish and I enjoyed the read.

Thanks

No class!

Our heroe brings his pregnant bitch to the airport to kiss off his wife and 2 kids.

Beautiful....fucken beautiful!!!

More respect for The Celt

I saw/read somewhere the author is now deceased.

Not An Improvement

Original Ending was not that good, but this one was worse. He did desert his children for a year. Now he is deserting them permanently!! He has made no effort to clarify or explain what he wants his wife to do. Revised Ending is a bummer!

asshole

Sam's an asshole, no need to say anything else

Good Read

Better ending than the original

Excellent Ending!

Before I read this ending I went back and read TheCelt's 4 part story. What I noticed was the stark difference in writing between Parts 1-3 and Part 4. In Part 3 through therapy Kristen discovered that she did not respect her husband Sam. Then in Part 4 she plays the stuck up bitch expecting to dictate terms to Sam regarding their reconciliation.. She makes a big deal about his leaving to take the kind of job she and her father always thought he should have to support his family. Sam told her that he would not contact her but this lack of contact was part of her "abandonment" blues. Even though Sam did not contact her what prevented her from writing letters to him? Kristen could have through Josh sent notes from the kids, pictures and diary entries on how she was changing into the kind of wife who would follow the rules they could both live. She could have changed jobs in the company to a position with minimal travel reducing the chance she would be in a situation conducive to cheating. She could make her therapist reports available to him and she talk to her father about staying out of her marriage or else.The only good thing about Part 4 was the divorce but the kids had to put up with a bad home life as these fools try to make a bad situation work even though she still did not respect him. The only part of this ending I did not like was bringing Erica when he was to meet with his kids -too cruel and sends the wrong message to the kids. He could have accomplished the same results by spending time with his kids and letting her know that the marriage is over. Kristen would have begged and whined then he could privately show her a picture of Erica. The 'kicking her ass' talk was silly since Sam did not hurt her back when the cheating was first found out so why would he allow her to hurt the mother of his kids in front of them ( a great way to win over them)? I want to thank you for finishing otherwise excellent stories!.

Not that much of an improvement

While I wasn't a huge fan of the celts ending yours left me equally flat. You seemed to have striped everything that made Sam a sympathetic character right out of him. I found it very shocking that you had him dump the kids so callously. I think you might have been able to tell a revenge is living well ending without turning him into such an asshole.
I like your writing and I'm loving the concept of finishing off these stories so please don't take this as a knock. Looking forward to the next Finish The Damn Story story.

Maybe a little farfetched...

... but definitely a better ending than the original.

Not much of a "real" man in your ending

You actually made him out to be even worse than Cpete's character. You had him burn himself.

BTW: This Sam permanently lost the respect from his daughters. Mother didn't even need to bad mouth Sam to do it.

Can you rewrite this ending? Gave you only 1 star.

Sam needs neutered

what the hell makes you, author, think Sam is any better than his bitch wife? what kinda asshole are YOU to attempt making a sympathetic figure out of a guy that runs out on his kids cause his wife cheated? He didn't deserve his wifes respect.

This is a great ending

why because it is a true telling of one great aspect, men in USA CANADA Hell THE WEST! dont get the kids dont get treated fair in a divorce...the courts would have given them to her(fact) he would have gotten shit for visitation because he traveled for work(fact), she was a lying cheating bitch who wanted everything on her terms and women use their kids to bash the ex's in all cases of messy divorces(fact), she destroyed him and the family he just pulled the plug, the kids want to hate him go ahead not like they give a shit past 12 anyway dads a paycheck, stay and have a slow lingering pitiful death in front of your kids or leave and if they want contact they get a fully functioning male, what reason is there to stay? to be a man? what does that mean....financially support them k,but ex's dad are treated like shit in North America...nope he played by the bitches rules and won his freedom and traded up. remember she was "ill take it all" and thats good for the kids how?

THE AUTHOR "SPAKE" THE TRUTH

it is an ending and no closure, TK U MLJ LV NV does anyone dare to compete and re-finish..mlj