A Demon...Or Two Just For Me Ch. 02

more!

Amazing! More more more

in love!!

You superstar you!! Omg I'm so in love, could this be more amazing? Omg

more

I'm greedy and want more please

More, please! It's been long since I've last been this hooked to a story! It's so good that the occasional typos can be forgiven effortlessly. I'm hoping for more soon.

Superb!

By far this is my favourite of all your stories! Absolutely love it and can't wait to see the next few chapters posted.

I'm new to these stories, when I came to look for one I always looked for short to the point stories. But this is the first series I like. I check the site for the next chapter everyday! Please don't keep me waiting.

oops!

Kelly screamed and then Violet .....I think you got your bitches mixed up Katie is the bitch for this story. Lol I can understand the confusion they are interchangeable.lol
It didn't distract from the story so no harm done. I am sure any of your avid readers would be glad to proof read your chapters before you post them. I love them even with the little oops. :)

Surprised

I normally don't care for this style of story but these are great!
Suggestion: rapid changes in POV can be frustrating and disorient or confuse the reader. Minimize these or make the break stand out.

Why does Violet take this abuse from her family? I know she does it because it's her family but why is she letting herself be treated like garbage when she doesn't have to? Now that A.J. had the balls to dump Katie she can leave her family behind and go on with her life.

more please

i can't wait for the next chapter. please continue. thank you again for sharing your story with us.

Congratulations

It seems you've made yourself a major following; if you need an editor, there seems to be no shortage of volunteers should you need them. Both this and your naga king series are awesome, I can't wait to see how they both work out. Keep up the good work

Please more stories

I incredibly enjoyed this story. I really interested in learning more about the demons in Vi's childhood and the future baby. I really hope you continue writing more stories to this series. Thanks.

Rhomanov

I disagree I think it is less confusing when you know who's pov it is.
Hey Just sayin'

I can't get enough of this so more please!!!

WHAT A GREAT READ!!!

I love your story!!!! More please more... One of the only stories that has me checking in every day

NEXT

The next chapter isnt posted yet?????lol,,,,,too good to wait for,,,,your such a tease,,will be checking daily for the next one,,,thanks,

I've enjoyed the stories. I like the characters, even annoying Katie who made it fun to hate her. I would recommend a beta reader though. I think that they could help you slow down some spots (ch. 2 seemed very rushed to me) and to fill in some blanks, etc. The time jump was fine. But, a few things were kinda off for me. Why would she allow him to continue with Katie? I guess a plan could be to have him be Stefanos when he's around them later so they never find out she was with A.J.? But, it was strange how he keeps amping up the relationship with Katie to new levels up to agreeing to a marriage and giving her a ferarri? It made no sense that he'd worry about her not getting along with her family that she hated and that clearly hates her. They didn't have one positive word for her the whole time she was there. I think you could have stopped that whole sherade a bit earlier.
I also found it a bit strange that she suddenly knew so much about them. Stating it all as fact was weird. I bought that after the sighting of stefano, she'd not be shocked that they (or A.J.) were more than they seemed, but for her to state how he's half angel...it might have been better for her to ask why A.J. had wings if they were demons or something. Also, if he could hear her thoughts wouldn't he have known she was pregnant? I was a tiny bit disappointed that she told him she was pregnant by yelling it at her family. I'd have liked to get his true reaction to that since he'd have to be over the moon. I was also a bit surprised that she was supposed to return to school in one week and they never spoke about it. I would think that it would have come up in a serious relationship, let alone lifemate. Those are just honest things I thought, but overall, the story is good and interesting...I just think it needs some polishing. Hope to see more of these two.

I'm finding the POV shifting quite interesting. I was afraid I'd find it jarring, but it's not. It's rather nice to get to switch whose head I'm riding along in.

I'm proud of A.J. for finally saying what needed to be said.

(Also, the bath-blackout was beautiful. I admit I could see how it would end as soon as the lights went out, but... Saved by the brother. I loved that you did that.)

More! More! Yes. I do feel guilty for being so demanding. ^.^;;

MORE MORE MORE

DO MORE I LOVE IT!!!!

im loving this!!!

omg this is such a great story!!!

Really good

I am so loving this pleeease dont stop!!!

awesome!

Can't wait for more......
please don't stop:)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!

Apart from the editing part that lacks seriously... I'm totally in love with your story ! It's really great ! And what's surprising me is that I love it so much even with all the mistakes... you must have some serious writing skills (and sorry for my errors, english isn't my native language ! ^^')
I'll be waiting for more, I hope it will comme ASAP ! :)

Keep writing!!!!

I'm loving this series and the different twists you've added to the usual NH stories on here! Please keep going!

dat ending

Awwwww i loved the promise.

Excellent!!!!!

Such an excellent story.. Keep it up.

I tried

I tried to stick with this story but slimy AJ has no balls (or he would have broke up with Katie long ago and he would have put a stop to Violet's parents treating her - his "mate" - like shit) and Violet has no spine (or she would have made him). ONE page into this chapter and my eyes were rolling so hard at the useless "demon" and his doormat whore on the side and I had to call it quits which is a shame because you definitely have talent. Maybe I'll try another part later after my head stops hurting...or not.

so sweet

Such a sweet, romantic story. I love the character development.

SERIOUSLY? Are you fucking kidding me?

1. Get an editor, you need one.
2. This story began well, and while I can semi-understand the idea of a single uncontrollable moment that may lead to cheating, the fact that it continues, and the fact that both of your main characters are useless and completely awful is slightly disappointing. I can literally read it no further. Firstly A.J can't seem to break up with Katie even though he detests her, why is that? This turns him into every asshole guy that cheats on his wife or girlfriend and completely destroys any chance of me, as a reader, thinking he may be a good person or being able to enjoy his character in the story. He also belittles Katie when she suggests that he may be cheating, by implying that SHE is the scumbag for even believing that he would,yet another classic jerk move. Why are you making your characters assholes? Secondly, Violet doesn't seem to mind that she's having sex with her sister's boyfriend and is behaving like a cheating whore... even though you try to make her come across as being the moral and "nice" sister. She also doesn't seem to have a problem with the fact that A.J just isn't going to break up with Katie, and then doesn't even mention it to him when he subsequently PROPOSES to her. Wait what? Shouldn't she be slightly irritated (at the very least) that he proposed to Katie when he had told her that he considered it to be over. This story just makes no sense. You created awful immoral and pansy characters and then tried to make them seem righteous and heroic. Being misunderstood and victimized by your family doesn't automatically make you a good person and give you leave to act as you please. Bleugh, puke. Seriously?

The logic is a little off...

So I like the initial idea. And even though the characters are kinda horrible in their actions, you still managed to make me care about them. So really good job.

But I think there were some areas of the plot that were less than believable, and I'm not talking about the demon/angel body sharing body sharing. That I can totally get behind...because magic. I'm talking about the way the characters react and act to the situation.

1. A.J. has seen the abuse from her family for years. Why after finding out that she's his mate would he think that would change by pretending for a month that he's still dating her sister? And after that month? What then? Then does he break up with Katie? I know u weren't planning on the family being a part of her life later in the story, but the characters wouldn't know that. If A.J. Is trying to salvage her relationship with her family, it's incredibly shortsighted to imagine that lying and cheating for a month would accomplish that. Maybe a teenager would think this way. But isn't A.J. really old? He would know that it would never be okay with her family that violetta got involved with Katie's man. He should have at stood up to the the family, declared his love for violetta and spirited her away from their toxic presence. It would have changed the course of the story. But no other course of action makes sense to me. Certainly not the one the story took.
2. I have to agree with others, the way that you made the characters string Katie along was very off-putting. I don't care how awful she was. I prefer to see my heroines take the high road...or at least not the road of a cheater. Having known what it feels like to be cheated on, it's not pleasant. And the way that A.J. made Katie feel like an ass for suspecting? That didn't do him any favors either. She was right. And again I can't say this enough, it doesn't matter that Katie is a materialistic bitch and I suppose we r supposed to think she had it coming to her, the fact that the characters we r supposed to like are doling out this underhanded justice only makes it all so much worse. It makes them petty and cruel. The reasoning that A.J. wants Katie to have a nice vacation with her family is completely undermined by the fact that they are sleeping together. its kinda the opposite of preserving the relationship she has with her family.
3. Any woman who just got a declaration of love would be pissed when he's suddenly engaged to her sister. I don't care what's going on...that would be horrible. Her reaction? It's cool baby. No explain needed, let's have more sex. Again how does this preserve the long term relationship with her parents? Because if we aren't thinking long term...what's the point in staying there at all? One more month of their snide remarks about her weight? Doesn't sound like any fun to me. Surely A.J. would realize that her parents would NEVER forgive violetta if she stole Katie's fiancé? Surely at that point he would say fuck it and just take her away to the Bahamas for a relaxing vacation on the beach? Doesn't he have a crap ton of money?
4. I did finish the story and overall I liked it. I know u had an idea of where u wanted the story to go, but the logic was lacking. I'm fine with the supernatural stuff. U could probably stand to do more showing than telling but that's neither here nor there...it's ultimately off putting when characters act and react counter to logic. I'm sure that's the reason I see so many mixed reviews. Some people really love ur story. Some hate it. I think you have a lot of talent, but on the next story consider each characters' reactions to their situation. If you try to fit their reactions to where u want the story to go, it comes off rather unbelievable. At least I think that's what happened here.

I have to believe that. If I don't, then I'd have to believe that u actually think it's okay for two people to cheat like that...act like that and still be worth caring about. The fact that you made me care even after all the cheating says quite a bit, so please don't take this review as a negative. It's more of a plea. Next time, put yourself in your characters shoes a little more. Reason out their actions carefully. I think if you do that, you'll have a really awesome story with kickass characters to match.

More!!!!

I love this story!!!