The Dare

This might have been a bit short

But way better them your last, even thought i still belive that if you rewrite the last story and slow it down you would have in awesome story. Now got this one love where its going already the pace is good just needs more then a half page and would have been five stars keep up the good work

It sucks that you've given up on your last story.

I think you can still make something good out of it if you tried. But this story is off to a much better start. I definitely know what Taylor's going through and I've even experienced this exact situation. Most of the white guys I've ever met just wanted to have sex for the simple fact that they'd never been with a black chick before. But I was able to spot them out, and address it immediately lol. Then we ended up just becoming friends. One downfall is bwwm love is that it may just be a fulfilling a fantasy. Lol I rambled so much, sorry honey! Good story can't wait for more

Good start

I like it so far. Looking forward to more.

Good start, please don't give up on your other story!

Good start

Love to hear the second part of the story.

Better

Want more!

childish

Though others have given it support it soon became a major wreck and childish for me. The reason is simple all the use of "..." makes it appear written by some 7 year old child who lacks attention span long enough to write the thought and decent sentence. It also causes eye strain.

Hmm

I always enjoy seeing anonymous users say such ugly things to people brave enough to post their work to the skepticism and criticism of others. This is especially amazing because this is a free site and non of us have to pay to read the works of others. So, which is childish the character or tearing apart an amateur writer for posting their work for others to read? Chocolate princess this work is much better than your first. Although, with that being said your first work could have better potential if you just reworked it a bit. I like the premise of this story and cannot wait to see where you are going to take it. Make sure you read through to catch grammatical errors or left out words.

Great Start!

Great start! Add more soon, please.

Good for you

I'm very happy that you've been brave enough to try again, especially after negative comments. I haven't read the first story though. Keep it up

Don't Ever Let the Words of Others Dictate Your Life's Story!

That being said , if someone doesn't like your story don't worry about it. No one is holding a gun to their head making them read it. That being said, keep writing and you will get better and better. Always let someone read what you wrote before you post it....they will be able to catch any errors. I liked your story.

Please keep writing more..

I'm enjoying the beginning of this dare/relationship write more!!

Keep going!

And finish the other story too! lol

ohh girl you gonna drive me crazy

If you don't hurry with the next installment lol

good start

Nice start, I want to see where this goes!

PLEASE CONTINUE

I loooove this story! Don't leave us hanging on California love either!

Good beginning

I like it so far, and look forward to seeing where you go next. I hope you let the relationship build and not rush into sex right away. Keep up the good work.

Nice story

I like the fact that even though he is participating in the bet, it shows he has a conscience and is starting to feel guilty.

Good Start

I like this story. Can't wait to read more!! ;)

Love

Great story so far. Hope you finish it.

LOVE IT! please update soon!!!!

YAAAAAY!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH SHIIITTTT! THIS IS TOOOOOOO PERFECT! OH MY GAHD! MORE! MORE! MORE!

Me like!

I hope you continue

Nice start

Good set up. Can't wait to read more. I hope the whole dare thing doesn't come back to bite them, but it would make sense if it did. Looking forward to the rest.

Interesting Concept

But I'm not a big fan of your writing style. I feel like things don't flow and there isn't a lot of suspence

Yay

Not the most original thing ever but kudos for making the girl very likable. Don't take bad reviews to heart. Just try to get better. Maybe a little more description to the characters and setting to fluff it out some more, but hey, it's supposed to be erotica not English lit so thumbs up just for writing

good job

I read your first, and it had a lot of potential, it just needed to be redone a little and I'm happy to say your second attempt is a lot better. The main character is much more likeable and relatable, and the guy isnt a huge asshole.

Cute concept . . .

I'm about the to read the following chapters, but I do like your style. Taylor is adorable!