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byTypingWithOneHand©
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by Anonymous

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by chesthairslave08/15/13

'This Guy Doesn't Kid Around'

Both characters act much too eager to get the sucking and fucking checked off their list; like assembly line sex. Add character nuance, sensuality, and at least some satisfaction. Your closing 'I drive away, feeling dirty and used. But somewhere find pleasure in the fact that I was now a certified faggot.' 19's first time wasn't lusty, just sad. I do hope you continue writing.

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by William smyth08/15/13

A good story line

But you have somehow managed to make what should have been the account of a happy experience seem sad.
The lad should have been on cloud nine after such an initiation--not feeling dirty and used.
You're a good writer. Try making cock sucking and butt fucking joyous events in your future stories.

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