All Comments on 'Yes, I'm the Asshole'

by Tx Tall Tales

Sort by:
  • 99 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good chuckle.

Well written. Nice change of pace for LW tales.

dmhackdmhackover 10 years ago
Loved the pacing

Lots of stories kind of stagger and sputter. Not yours.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
If HDK can post his very

funny tales in LW, it is okay to post this sorta funny story in Humor & Satire.

Besides, the non-men living in LW nowadays have no sense of humor.

Or sex-lives.

Or genitals.

cpetecpeteover 10 years ago
Ha Ha Ha

well done take on "he who laughs last laughs hardest."

Fine tale, thanks for posting

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Well done, author!

Always enjoy a BTB tale with different twists.

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 10 years ago
'Sometimes Payback is a ' Cool Jerk'

She made him sell his grandad's guns in settlement ? Tsk, tsk ! If only conservative pundits were this funny. TTT did a great job in creating a character who does some borderline reprehensible actions, but couched in gritty humor - you just gotta recognize. *****

dinkymacdinkymacover 10 years ago
Great story!

Thanks for sharing.

tazz317tazz317over 10 years ago
THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

being an asshole supreme and a tyrant despot to only one, Non Sequitur. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Not sure why this is in Humor intead of Loving Wives.

You way over did the "lol, I'm an asshole", and after running nearly a full story with him genuinely being the good guy being wronged, turned him into the real asshole that sleeps with other guys wives. I'm not talking about Sheri's lover - I'm talking about his shenanigans at Hedonism. When you become what you hate, and play this tearfully ironic spiel about how you got your revenge, it completely pisses away the goodwill of the reader to turn him into the kind of shithead the broke up his marriage in the first place.

Bigg_MikeBigg_Mikeover 10 years ago
I think hunmor is a good fit

Had me chuckling almost the entire time. Great story.

Bigg_MikeBigg_Mikeover 10 years ago
Sorry about the typo

I wish we could edit. Delete if the typo is too aggravating, please.

Tx Tall TalesTx Tall Talesover 10 years agoAuthor
Humor vs. Satire

@Anonymous "Not sure why this is in humor..."

Sorry it's unclear to some... The category is Humor/Satire. While there are humorous elements to the story, it is meant as a SATIRE of many Loving Wives stories. I thought by the end that would be quite clear, but it appears I'm mistaken.

Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks for all the feedback.

patientleepatientleeover 10 years ago
Love the story!

The repetition of "I'm the asshole" reads like Rodney Dangerfield's "no respect". It highlights the satirical tone, and adds some humor. It's a fun read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Well done

Only criticism I have is the rants about the divorce terms were a distraction from the steady string of good humor.

For all of that well done

rnumbers123rnumbers123over 10 years ago
I think it's a pretty good satire of Loving Wives

In fact, it would fit right in. It's truly great how Literotica gives wannabe writers an organized, well read, and free place to post erotica. Within all their categories, they have Loving Wives, even describing it as a place for "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more", and all these bozos can do is criticize people who actually write stories about extra-marital fun, swinging and sharing. They applaud endless non-erotic misogynistic revenge fantasy. Personally I think it better qualifies as BDSM, because Sadism is Sadism, but the the lack of eroticism, or loving wives is striking. I'm guessing most have or had really bad marital issues. I'm also guessing I'd sympathize with any woman who found a man to escape their nasty attitudes, although I'd question any woman stupid enough to marry them in the first place.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 10 years ago
Nice

Excellent satire. A nice break from life. I used to be an asshole. No more. Now I'm just a prick.

HA Ha ha

Reindeer58Reindeer58over 10 years ago
Wonderful

True satire. Thanks for taking the time to write this little tale. Goof for 5*.

javmor79javmor79over 10 years ago

Loved it! It was well written and extremely funny. There is an old saying that says that there is a lot of seriousness in jest. Translation: a joke is funniest when it is true. Jokes about dumb blondes don't work unless people know a dumb blonde or two. Stupid husband jokes or whore wife jokes aren't funny if there is a level of truth to them. This story was hilarious because it was so real. I could honestly see someone going through that and thinking like that.

My only issue with the story was that I HATED the wife. She cheated, but hey, everyone makes mistakes. Her biggest folly was that she was selfish enough to string another man along who was so in love with her that he overlooked her shit. Then she repays this man by leaving him at the altar. She was a bitch, and she should be left alone for a while. But other than that, great story. 5 stars!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Simple moral

You've been made deaf, dumb and blind by the pussy. You've let your family and friends bully you into taking her back. And you HAVE taken her back. You may not admit it to yourself, but it's clear as mud that you've knuckled under and accepted her back into your life. IDIOT! Lousy story about a man with NO balls.

acupacupover 10 years ago
Life is stranger than fiction

you gotta love comments from people that have never been on the life side of that equasion.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Perfection!

Funny as hell! Very true to some of us out here. More more more... *****

FullCircle56FullCircle56over 10 years ago
Very Good Read

Agree with others. Was a very funny story. Glad I ran across this one. Thanks.

sesren11sesren11about 10 years ago
other comments

Personally I think the writer did a great job on showing the inner crap that the cheated ON go through and then turn it to show humor throughout to get his point across. I liked the story for what it was a short funny romp through his character's reasoning.

DjshengDjshengabout 10 years ago
10/10

Was humorous :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

One of the more useless, nonsensical crap that we find here imo.

hoosier76hoosier76about 10 years ago
Great story!

I really enjoyed this one. The ones that didn't mut be WIMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam37Sam37almost 10 years ago
Even better the 2nd time

I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. The BTB crowd cannot seem to step out of fantasyland long enough to face reality. He unofficially took her back. So what? It's their relationship, not ours. The inner dialog was BRILLIANT. The exchange with the "ex" as he finished documenting his story was the icing on the cake.

Real life does not fit into perfect little boxes that separate all of our emotions and relationships into neat categories. People are not perfect, and people are involved. There WILL be mess.

I like the way T3 pulled it all together.

Two thumbs up. Please keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Revenge story... sorta

The story was fantastic and I absolutely love the way Rick doesn't take s*** from anybody although the only part of the story I didn't get was the ending conversation "seventeen months, two weeks, three days since you fu**** that skank." 2 questions

1. Who is he talking to.

2. By skank do they mean Sheri? Or some random woman he met since he did say it was a year since he had been with any other woman.

Please will anybody tell me im soo confused. Please excuse my poor grammer if there was any.

talldarkfellowtalldarkfellowalmost 10 years ago
Some people will just never get it.

I wouldn't have believed it was possible, but there are commenters who truly think this is one of their wish-fulfilment BTB stories, instead of a terrific mocking of those tunnel-vision exercises in self-indulgence.

It was like reading people commenting on Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" who were recommending barbeque sauces.

He gets years of unconditional repentance from the woman who he admits was the best he ever had, she gives him back all his money, leaves her devoted fiancee at the altar (after repeatedly telling him she loved someone else and would always go back to her ex-husband), gives him literally everything a woman can give a man, and some idiots applaud the dumb-ass for "sticking to his guns" (sort of) and continuing to reject her?

Pyrrhic victory. Look it up.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
There should really be a sequel to this

This story much like you're other stories left me with a satisfying smile but I wanted to know a lot more like what gender is the baby or how is the ex's ex doing or even some earlier moments that go into detail like when he went on vacation what were all the things he did over there or what the others were doing, This is my favorite story published by you Tx Tall Tales I really hope to see a sequel if not well I'll just have to learn how to live with it.

KarenEKarenEover 9 years ago
Strange One

The only thing that really bugs me is she keeps saying "I love YOU," while she's letting her lawyers rape him in the divorce.

SplitAcesSplitAcesover 9 years ago
He's not an asshole!

I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. The RAAC crowd cannot seem to step out of fantasyland long enough to face reality. He divorced her and refused to remarry her. His resolve to stick to his principles and his explanations for doing so against an unrelenting, unified opposition was BRILLIANT. The exchange with the "ex" as he put an end to her next marriage, got his money back and used her as the slut she proved to be, when she thought he was going to remarry her was the icing on the cake!

The love between husband and wife is the sweetest gift from God we can experience in this world. Our wedding vows are not limits to our behavior as much as they are our guide to find that gift. It's a sad commentary on society that so few couples honor their vows enough to experience conjugal love; even worse, that Rick would be castigated for refusing to accept his wife making a mockery of his marriage.

T3, thank you for a tale that burns the bitch, honors marriage and makes a mockery of reconciliation at any cost!

Two thumbs up! Please keep writing.

SplitAcesSplitAcesover 9 years ago
My previous commit is a rebuttal to Sam37.

And yes, I did want to ridicule him.

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
IF A GUY BIDES HIS TIME AND THE STARS ALIGN

he may come out on top of the heap. TK U MLJ LV NV

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
a man who truely understands himself

his family on the other hand is confused and messed up.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
IF THE END CONFUSES YOU...

please look at the genre.

Great story, well written twists kept me guessing where you were headed to till the end.

AmbivalenceAmbivalenceabout 9 years ago
"Once at the end of May and again in April." Uh... huh?

If you have zero tolerance, which is a choice, clearly he was in the right... doesn't matter how sorry she is, she should likely have known.

And she's not brain dead - if she had REALLY not washed him to get screwed overt by the system, she could have stopped it. I don't think I like her a whole lot. She cheats on the man she says she loves with a guy she's not wild about; she does pretty much everything she can to crush the lover just because she can; she moves in with the lover though she loves her husband because, what, she'd rather have sex with the lover than get a job...?

Amazing that his family are such, oh, I don't know, "assholes"...? Granted, maybe (just maybe) what she did wasn't THAT bad... but to not blame her at all...? To make him the one who was completely in the wrong...? That's way wrong. I loved what he did and though he is with her, he still has the complete walk away potential.

Sam37Sam37about 9 years ago
After yet another read

I still thoroughly enjoyed this tale.

Do this many people really not get the concept of humor or fiction? Seriously? Did none of them read the author's name? Lol.

Tex, as always your story was well written and entertaining. It also kept enough reality to make it believable (as evidenced by the number of comments acting like it was nonfiction).

Bravo.

carvohicarvohiover 8 years ago
Awe...

I enjoy a good love story!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Roflmao

Enough said.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I hate cheaters

One of the better cheater stories but hate her

tazz317tazz317about 8 years ago
3 YEARS.....3 YEARS TO WAIT AND PLAN

and now its my turn to be home team,. TK U MLJ LV NV

Absinth3Absinth3almost 8 years ago
Loved it!

Every word of it!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
I like the sarcastic tone.

:)

Makes this satire so much more enjoyable. :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Laughed at this

One of he best funny ones I've read well done

Hale1Hale1over 7 years ago
Why the low score?

I normally top pick the high scored stories when I'm going thru any author's submissions, but I've enjoyed so much of your work that I just read. This doesn't follow your normal theme, but I truly enjoyed it.

Thanx!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
nope

dunno what to think .. read it n it makes sense but I just do not know what to think

PileDriver48PileDriver48over 7 years ago
I love satire

And this is also humorous. Nothing funny about cheating, but we can find humor in lots of situations.

Loved this!

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 6 years ago
Thoughts

“Then spent the next few years taking money from me” – Interesting time-frame; he was paying $1200 a month for three years, now she’s re-marrying after three years. My understanding is that maintenance stops upon re-marriage. Did she deliberately delay re-marrying to get every drop of maintenance from him?

So, who's he talking to? If it's Sheri, who's the "skank" she's talking about? I think the skank is Sheri, and he's found someone better!

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
OKAY!

I'll be the Asshole this time, it's a damn story. If he was talking to Sheri at the end of the story I can live with that.

His Mother and family got what were they saying about him? She got what she wanted and he got what he really wanted and, he got it free Hell everybody got what they wanted. He got to stay an Asshole which everyone to came to call him. He acted the part like they wanted him too! Sheri put up with it but, again she got what she wanted. Yeah that was her at the end of the story, Makes sense to me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Funny as hell !

I laughed my ass off. You have such a wide range of skills, serious , sexy, angry, funny. And, you're good at them all. Thanks for another great offering. 😊

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Loved it !!!!!!!'

Thank you. I needed this.

BoomerbillBoomerbillover 6 years ago
Remarkably funny

This story makes a poignant statement about human relationships; parody for sure but right on the money.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
I Do Enjoy A Humorous Story

All of the outside interference reminds me of a woman who had her daughter-in-law have sex with three of her sons, the brothers to her husband. She had three children, one each from her brothers-in-law, none by her husband. And the entire town knows the truth. And the husband is such a cuckold wimp, that he puts up with it.The funny thing is that the husband stole her away from her first husband. Karma.

NexttimeroundNexttimeroundalmost 6 years ago
Brilliant --

cruel and very amusingly told. Is divorce really like that? ..... er I guess yes it is.

Just as no good deed goes unpunished, the best way out of victimhood is to be a complete bastard, sorry asshole. I liked the percentage points on the ways cheating is discovered too at the beginning.

SkubabillSkubabillabout 5 years ago
Fun

This was a fun story to read. Well done Tx Tall Tales.

BalddudesrockBalddudesrockabout 5 years ago
Brilliant

,,, you Asshole.

NEMESIS98NEMESIS98over 4 years ago

One of the best ive read

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
You wrote a story about a cuck taking back a whore and embracing being a cuck

who is that 'a little different'?

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
An asshole and a WIMP

The guy surely is the Asshole. If at least he was not such a wimp with all the negative input he received from family and friends he would at least have some retrieving good points.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
1 star

because you actually do take her back...

nyteramblernyteramblerover 3 years ago

Loved that one and even if not married sounds like she is in his life alone more then would admit.

KoxokKoxokover 3 years ago

I wouldn’t touch the cheater with a 10 foot pole, but I still liked the story. 4*

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Be like Chad

Be like Chad and be an asshole to women. Chad's always get women wet and women always want to fuck Chad. Chad will always fuck them but Chad will never marry them. Be like Chad!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
LOL!

Another WIMP story...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

One for Lit's bottom feeders and BTB brigade to wallow in.

Good story sort of enjoyed reading it. Even though she cheated she really did love him and he took advantage of it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
well written

Thats about all I can say good about it

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
3 Stars

Sorry but This is not as good as most of your stories .

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggartalmost 3 years ago

I enjoyed it. Not a nice story about a nice person but thats what makes it so enjoyable, yeah the MC is an asshole but you can't really blame him. Love of a wife and the family doesn't excuse cheating and taking her side. I almost wish this was a BTB story on the whole family, both sides.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Loved the ending, made me laugh

lujon2019lujon2019over 2 years ago

So the whore lives in his house, spends his cash, had a kid he will be forced to pay got got 26 years under our current legal system.

How is he not a cuck?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Loved it! Absolutely tongue in cheek. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 2 years ago

too bad about the kid

MisterMordinMisterMordinabout 2 years ago

Certainly one of the stupidest, most ludicrous stories on this site.

BuzzCzarBuzzCzarabout 2 years ago

Better than most. Some humor.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Funny

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

5 STAR

Although should have been docked for Rick not taking Sherri up on having her bestfriend join.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

"left at the alter" tag cracked me up. Perhaps you meant altar?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

"paid her $23K of the proceedings." Proceeds is more likely. Maybe find an editor.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

"tossed way to [sic] much money on the table..."

C_frommnC_frommnalmost 2 years ago

Loved the Asshole! My Dad told me along time ago to Embrace being an Asshole. because if you are a Good Asshole it takes a lot of work. and he was Right.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Discombobulated

Poorly written, sounds like a whiney madman talking. What a waste of time to read

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Could he be more of a pussy. Was your i intension to write him that way? Asshole no. Gigantic pussy, yes. 2* because i hate weak men. Yes he got it all in the end but he was a pussy 90% of the story .

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Left me chucklin'

The moral of the story I think is, Good Pussy is hard to give up!

Yarnspinnerr

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This story works well in the humor category.

You know what else is humorous?

The comments by "Anonymous" and the comments by people who have no stories posted, who find fault with other people's work!

Now that's fucking funny

Yarnspinnerr

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Loved it; very humorous. Ah, to be an asshole. 5/5

Cracker270Cracker270over 1 year ago

Funny well written story. Thank you

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Whenever I read stuff like "He's a real man, and he's not gonna take that kind of shit." I just know that it will be some variant of the standard incel-fantasy written by some overweight guy with questionable hygiene living in his parents basement...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

I wouldn't try this in my home jurisdiction (which is in Canada, but is not Québec). The courts here are prone to consider being shacked up for a year as equivalent to "common law" married for various nefarious purposes, such as very ugly "palimony"-style suits. So basically the only way to protect your assets is don't marry, don't shack up and don't even think of having sex with anyone until you have the lab test results back from your no-scalpel vasectomy. I'd add "...and come out as homosexual" but in these parts even there you aren't safe from gold diggers.

The way this story is written, it lacks closure. There needs to be one clear once-and-for-all break between the two at the end of this to give it some finality. Ideally, this should happen when she's nine months pregnant and he suddenly, inadvertently reveals out of the blue that he absent-mindedly left both vasa deferentia at some random vasectomy clinic two or three years ago... and then proceeds to demand a DNA test to expose the paternity fraud.

RGRollRGRoll12 months ago

I learned from my sweet passed away wife that all women who are married have two assholes. One nature gave them and the one they trapped, US. Just remember when they call us asshole we are theirs. Keep track of which you are. I was #5 and never let her forget.

dgfergiedgfergie9 months ago

A truly loving couple, I loved it. There just ain't no accounting for the people some people marry! I think the best some of the best relationships are ruined by that little piece of paper. 5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

Could not read it, too much bullshit. If the husband brings his house into the marriage his spouse has no claim on it, also any inheritance he receives is not part of community property, it is solely his. The story might have been humorous but I could not get past the stupid results of the divorce to continue reading.

chasbo38chasbo387 months ago

Unbelievable female character.

First she cheats on her husband because she feels sorry for her old boyfriend.

Second she helps her brother et al financially rape him. She participated in that because she had to sign the documents so she knew what she was doing.

Then she moves in with a man she clams she never loved. She becomes his kept woman. He gives her loads of gifts and she gives hm gratitude sex for three years. So admits she was basically prostituting her body to get the life-style she wanted.

She admits she was using this guy and knew it.

Then when she finally gives in and agrees to marry him she fucks her ex-husband less than an hour before the wedding.

Then on the her honeymoon weekend while she is fucking her ex-husband she tells hm everything about her life as a kept woman. Can't tell whether she was confessing or bragging. Based on her character, I would bet on the latter.

I hope you did not create this character based on someone you knew in real life. If so I feel sorry for you.

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Gave it a one star not because I didn't think that the author didn't do a really good job but because he went to far just like things have in our society. For a long time women got screwed now men do we need to take the emotion out and replace it with reason. Not going to happen. Ever.

gprevgprev2 months ago

Thoroughly enjoyed it!

AnonymousAnonymous18 days ago

A woman must have written this fantasy. No way would a MAN ever take her back. Waste of time. Try someone else. LM

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
userTx Tall Tales@Tx Tall Tales
20295 Followers
The only thing constant is change. A new State, a new City, a new Job, and new Stories (coming soon).

SIMILAR Stories