Innocent Swap

Sorry excuse of an author.

Typical LW trash.

Sounds more like she held her husband even more in contempt than ever

Sounds like she hasn't loved her husband in years, lol.

basis of the tale is good..

Just has some rough corners... Wife not IN love with her husband anymore... this is not a stretch in a lot of the sexual element of marriages... a 3 at this time.. rewrite??

I agree, that it seems like

she hasn't been appreciative of her husband , and so the last line is merely just a stretch towards a justification. I have no problems with the way this is written, but a story of a first time swing or swap, needs the other side of the story. How did the other couple fare? and what of the aftermath? Is she able to experience this kind of passion with Hubby afterwards? OR does this experience with "the largest cock she'd ever seen" RUIN her desire for Hubby? Besides what of the bull's wife? Is SHE able to reinvigorate narrator's Hubby, and give him some pointers on becoming a better lover? OR is she more likely very disappointed with him, as it is obvious he doesn't measure up, and isn't used to eating pussy? I think you have a good (if overly commonplace) start, and if anything is to be inferred from the last sentence, It might seem that her own husband wasn't far from her thoughts (at least in comparison). However, it should be obvious that this is NOT the whole story, and has left too many questions to neither be complete or satisfactory..

AWFUL ..mindless stupid and frankly offensive

The writing is OK. The issue is what it means.

Throughout the story we see constant references to things that the wife has never done or lingerie she has never worn for her husband... or if if soon to be ex husband. The fact that she has shut down on her husband but comes alive sexually for another man is one thing ... which with respect to the marriage is bad enough .

But keep in mind that JOHN... her husband ..KNOWS the " other guy" fairly well. It is highly probable at some point that John will end up talking to Anthony . John will discover that the wife allowed this other man to do these sexual acts that she would not do with the husband.

THAT is s going to kill the marriage. She doesn't have a low sex drive. She simply does NOT want to fuck her husband. Hey it happens . It does not mean that the wife is evil... But it does mean the marriage is dead

Creative Leap Too Far

Given what the author told us in the rest of the story the last sentence didn't make any sense at all. The chances of this marriage surviving seem to be zero. If the last sentence read 'And there, in the arms of another man ,she discovered all that she had been missing in her marriage and realised she had to end it', it would at least be credible.

i laugh

at all the idiots commenting on this piece of crap and yes even at myself for reading the three lines i read.

Disappointing

The writing and premise were OK, if a little overused, but the story as developed was disappointing. It seemed like you started in the middle and never got to the end. What about the other pair? One normally expects to read about them as well in a story about swapping. If the last sentence is to be believed, there must be info about them, and having them all in the same room would actually have helped the credibility. I think you took what may have been a decent enough idea and left it terribly underdeveloped. Try again, either with a new story or more of this one, and see if you can do more with it and not leave so many questions unamswered.

Way too short

What did it take to write this... about a half hour ? Nice writing... could have been a good story with a little effort.

1*

WTF is this?

Very well done! An excellent story perhaps made better by its brevity. Excellent writing.

I enjoyed it

Thanks for posting.

Harry, we read the same story?

How could you read so much into such a simple piece of erotic sigh-fi? I'll have to re-evaluate my sense of insight. 3*

Yah, have to agree with Harry - good interesting insight.

Well done, Harry.

Come on its a first story

A bit rough. The swap went very well from her pov, but we need the other couples story and the aftermath.
This part had little dramatic action, and little conflict. You might have milked her anxiety some more, and tell us what acts she was worked about and why.

However the writing is lucid, the dialog is light but well done. Keepmgoing

I hate agreeing with Harry

but he's right. There was very little to separate this from a vanilla Erotic Coupling. What *was* there simply belied the whole premise of the story. Mechanics were good, but really nothing to set this story apart. I know it's a first effort, but don't bother with a second unless you're willing to tackle the hard questions in a true LW submission.

so sensitive

I agree with imhaples. So sensitive and cock hardening.

In love with her husband?

Well that came out of left field. Which is where this sorry, mistake laden story should have stayed.

Great story

I have to disagree with some people on here - when i swapped, i was more in love with my husband than ever. it was nice to feel like a woman again, and sometimes it takes something else to ignite the passion.
my husbands and mines sex life has never been better and we swap once every two months or so