Punishment for Weekend Ch. 01

Proof reading is not just for other people.

The writing is so poorly done I gave up. Really.

It shows a little promise ...

... but it needs MUCH more attention to presentation. It appears you have just dashed this off and submitted it without re-writing it - or even re-reading it, which is a shame; you have talent. Don't let yourself down with such a sloppy approach to preparing your MS for publication; I know Literotica is an amateur site, but there is a vast difference between amateur and amateurish.

Three stars, keep writing and take more time to get things the very best you can manage - engaging the services of an assistant author might be a good idea.

Thank you new author. You have a good idea here and can build a scene well. I think English may not be your first language? Try to find some one to read your stories who can help you adjust sentence structure and what form of a word to use. Writing gets stronger with practice, so keep working at it.