All Comments on 'Bait a Hook Ch. 02'

I am loving this story, can't wait for the next update. Would like to see the chapters become a bit longer as the story progresses, but other then that it was perfection.

'...I erupted like never before, blasting jet after jet across my stomach and chest. I was almost panting as I grabbed my discarded underwear and wiped up the mess.' Bobby's mystery hunk: muscular, 6', straight white teeth, grass green eyes, short cropped brown hair, glistening tan sculpted furry chest. Yum! Nicely crafted chapter. Shells start to crack as characters slowly emerge to reveal their place in the story. Have patience readers.

I like how you are slowly introducing the characters as chesthair said but keep, I shouldn't say that as I am behind and trying to catch up lol but I like it so far

I'm loving this story, keep up the good work! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go devour the rest of the chapters you have posted :)

As usual, no love for Newport News.

them alive

Haha I agree! Never any love for Newport News!! When it said somewhere between Williamsburg and norfolk all I could think is ... Newport News ... I'm from Smithfield and work in NN. Both are never mentioned even though the rest of Hampton roads often makes appearances lol :) I feel your pain ;P

The exact description of the highways they take adds nothing to the story. It's boring detail and slows down the story. Keep the action moving. Also, I'm baffled by his sister's comment that maybe he can be himself when they move. Who in their right mind would think that moving to a small rural community would help someone come out? That makes zero sense.

Keep writing (if you still are), but beta readers and a couple editors would help a lot.

That last paragraph

I am enjoying the story. I enjoy it when place names are included and are real places so I can do a search to help me picture the setting. I keep a search window available so I can also check things mentioned that I am not familiar with such as "Old Bay". I also like the description of the characters such as body hair.

Your writing is top notch, please post more stories : )