All Comments  for

Cycling Weekends with Sis

by8letters©
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Comments (101)
by Anonymous

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by GingerCat108/31/13

This was really nice

You have written a really nice story here that felt real which from my perspective is a massive compliment. Most stories on this site are wildly implausible but this one is not. It felt like it could actually happen which made reading it even hotter.

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by Anonymous08/31/13

Well done

This was a very nicely written story. As a person who has no frame of reference for biking, I wasn't overwhelmed by it. I appreciate that.

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by RecHiker08/31/13

I love it!

I'm not a cyclist but I was a hiker and can appreciate the massage of sore muscles. But either way, your story is excellent. It's full a details and makes a reader, like myself, feel like I'm right there watching the story unfold.

I'm sure all of us know a guy like Chuck and I started feeling bad for Julie when he moved into her personal space. You wrote that part very well.

I could go on and on about the parts I was impressed with but I think the title of my comment says it all.

Thanks for sharing..... I gave this story a 5 star rating and it deserves more...

RecHiker

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by brosismom08/31/13

greatish

stuff,

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by ChasB08/31/13

Very Fine

The longest bike ride I ever did was taking my old 3 speed Raleigh about 25 fairly hilly miles to college back in the 50's. 'Can appreciate Julie's pains a bit, anyway. My legs ached for a couple of days, but I wanted it to get around the small college town. This is a great story, though I would like to have read more of the feelings the siblings had as they allowed their love to develop and express itself. It seemed very real. I'd like to hear more of how they worked things out

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by Anonymous08/31/13

Stupid story.

The writer hasn't cycled a mile in his life. The speeds over distance for an inexperienced cyclist are impossible. As impossible as the 12' cocks so beloved of ignorant US writers.

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by Averygoodlay08/31/13

Way back

Back when I was a teenager I worked for Western Union and rode a bike 8 hours a day 5 days a week sunshine, rain, or snow ( telling how old I am Lol ) they don't do that anymore.
Enjoyed your story it was a good read.

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by Anonymous08/31/13

great start?

Its a great start but the question I have for you is this. Will you continue this with another chapter? You have all the the makings of a great series if you choose tto continue. The storyline is excellent and has the grounds of two people bonding on sometime besides sex.

The part with Chuck was handled beautifully. Julie not only put Chuck in his place but everyone else as well. There is always some jerk that we're friends with that think they can do whatever they want. Without having to pay the price for there actions.

Please Please Continue this story. Gave it a 5 Stars wish it could be higher. Don't worry about the ones who only know how to criticized. As they have probably written anything in their lives.

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by mafia_patriarch08/31/13

I thought it was fairly good, although there are some odd turns of phrase. And what .... is this for anyway?

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by Jerrycurious09/01/13

Excellent Read

This story was a little different, very erotic and believable. Could be a great start to multi-chapters if that's what you had in mind. Keep up the good work.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Good story. You have the makings of great multi-chapter read. So many possible routes you could take. Please keep this story alive.

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by Eric_Shift09/01/13

Wow

And you want to improve...on this?
I'd say you're there, already.
But I do agree multi chapter stories are a better variety, and more apt, to the tone of this story.
Please, keep it up.

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by 8letters09/01/13

On continuing the story

I have some thoughts for continuing this story, though I think it would be a challenge to do so. I don't see any obvious plot continuations and I am all about plot as a writer. If you have any ideas for a plot for the next chapter, shot me a PM. I am currently working on the next chapter of "Heather and Michael".

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Not believable

This story is not even remotely believable. Everybody knows that guy who spends thousands of dollars on a bicycle and drives a Subaru would prefer to suck cock than have anyhting to do with any pussy. I couldn't even make it past the massage in the motel. You need to rewrite this story, take the sis out and put this in the gay section where it belongs.

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by greenhawk4609/01/13

well done

liked how you let this plot develop, nice build-up, good characters, nice romantic, but hot story good job

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Great story

I loved the build-up to their great sexual exchange. I loved that she played with the hair on his chest, that he took his more realistic cock and knew what to do with it with Julie, and she was satisfied.

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by rublicks09/01/13

to anon not believable

did you read the same story or are you on the same drugs as Lance Armstrong?

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by ReiDeBastos09/01/13

Nice job!

As to the commenter who said "not believable": No, we do NOT "all know that" about cyclists. I won't even SAY what "we all know" about guys who leave Anonymous comments.

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by TheEldestBrother09/01/13

Well, it started to do something for me, and then it stopped. So I guess my only regret is that it ended! Good show! Keep it up!

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Slow Moving Story

You have a problem with words. You use a lot of them, but they add nothing to the story. You love your Subaru, instead of your car, and you love listing each of your friends by name, which takes up space, but adds nothing to the story, because none of these friends do anything special in it. It is wonderful to hear about bike races, and becoming physically fit, and I think the story about the 'Cow' was wonderful. However, if you are not a cyclist, you do not understand the difficulty between a 26 mile ride and a 40 mile ride just by putting it down on paper, and saying to me, you stopped at to rest areas, for half a banana and a protein bar. It means nothing, and it says less to your reader. This story was supposed to be about Josh and Julie. If you had written 10,000 words about him, giving her massages after a grueling race of 50 feet, this would have been a better story. "Prolonged_Debut10

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by Dougntexas09/01/13

DougNTexas

Just a great story. The words were fine. It is a well done story. Everyone does not want a 1 page stroke story. Keep up the good work.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Great details for a Romance rather than a Stroke Story

I liked the little details and the build-up, that he was recognizing her attraction to him through little signs. Good sensuality, and a loving pair.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Bleh

Some of these anons are just being assholes. I usually am very critical of stories on here myself. Not with with this one though. I liked the pace that was set here. A slow build up that leads to the sex in a romantic way. Those are the best stories when they're done that way.

As for what I didn't like about this story? You divided the story up with * * * *'s and that was fine. But they were smack dab in between instead of being spaced apart.

I post anonymously because I got tired of some retards sending me PM's after reading my reviews.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Great Story

I don't usually comment on stories here. Making an exception for this one. Very well written, believable and the characters in it were real. Unlike most where Josh would have had 14 inches and Julie would have had 44EEE breast. Looking forward to reading more of your works.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Good and believable

I can so see this happening. I love the buildup, and the overweight/cycling angle works well. You put a lot of backstory into it that helps the flow later, so keep that up. Some may gripe about the anticipation factor, but it seems to work for this story. The reality is it could happen, but when it did, no guy would get into a woman's pants in just one or two sessions, and certainly not in just a few weeks. A year and these rides sound like the right timing. Kudos on all that.

I would suggest you include more details on the sexual build-up and releases. You included enough to not rush it, but could have had more to increase the tension/release. Include details like if they tense up and how, if they curl their toes, throw their heads to the side and how it feels right before they orgasm. If you decide they aren't screaming banshees, include their moans and words/reactions right up to the orgasm and what happens then. Including those details can make the story even hotter. :)

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by Anonymous09/01/13

Good story

Vey good story. The build up was excellent and the way it concluded was fantastic. Looking forward to more of your work.

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by Anonymous09/01/13

good BUT

this was good but needs more background and character development, as is this should have been chapter two. there were a lot of extra unneeded words that a GOOD EDITOR would have caught and you should have caught IF you had proofread this properly. this also needs another chapter to tell how they manage living as a couple, do they move away or stay where they are? what about the parents are they alive fi so how do they react when they find out. write more of this story BUT use a good editor and PROOFREAD.

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by TestSubject00109/01/13

Excellent

Very good story. You mention RecHiker as someone offering feedback, I wouldn't mind seeing some more development like he tends to do. You could go series with this or not. It was very good, with minimal grammar and spelling errors. Basically I am not into jerk off stories. And this was far from it. Good read.

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by 8letters09/02/13

Thanks for all the wonderful comments!

I enjoyed most the comments where people said what they enjoyed about the story. I am very happy that many of you felt the story was realistic. One of my main goals was to make the story plausible. Thanks to those who suggested areas where I can improve. I feel very motivated to write some more.

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by ansdguy09/02/13

Great story.

I enjoyed the character development and the pacing. I have no idea what * * * *is about, though. Often when you use it, you might want to just start a new paragraph. It's just plain distracting and annoying to me.
5 stars anyway.

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by RockyStone09/02/13

Wonderful

The story brought back a memory of an ex-niece-in-law, Things didn't end up like the story, but she liked massages. Good story, I don't have any sort of criticism for you. I really like the story though.
RS

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by Anonymous09/02/13

Stick to one story

This story is about a fat girl getting a figure with her brothers help and falling in love. It is not about nutrition, muscle building, blood chemistry, your childish buddy, or the finer points of bike riding. All those items only detract from what would otherwise be a pretty good story. A good rule of thumb for crafting a story is IF IT DOESN'T ADVANCE THE PLOT OR TELL SOMETHING IMPORTANT ABOUT THE CHARACTER - TAKE IT OUT! USE THIS TEST ON EVERY LINE
This story would have been good cut to half its length.

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by Anonymous09/02/13

wow nice story i loved it ......

Don't stop great story...

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by funfunfun7309/02/13

More!

Please continue with this storyline! It is well written, and has virtually no editing mistakes. Well done!

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by Anonymous09/02/13

Great!

Only one word... more

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by pichejf09/02/13

In response to the "Stick to one story" comment

Actually, I found that the other elements in the story were the perfect way to slow the story down so that it doesn't feel rushed. Too many stories on this site seem to focus solely on the sex, and without slowing the story down during the setup, the author also doesn't slow during the sex.

This makes for stories that end up with sex scenes that look like "She sucked my dick for 20 minutes, then she fucked me, she came, I came, the end." Adding details like 8letters did gives you insight into the thought processes of the characters, letting you immerse yourself into the story and into the lives of the characters instead of just reading words on a screen.

tl;dr the pacing was perfect.

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by Anonymous09/02/13

great story

I enjoyed this very much. The slow pacing was perfect for me, and I liked the back story, which framed the relationship very nicely. The cycling theme was well done and I thought provided a good skeleton for your story. My only quibble is that the brother, as in your other stories, is so very patient, and good, that he almost seems more like the idea of a protagonist than a real one. A few quirks would be nice. But it is a very well done story, that has hot sex, and character development. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your stories.

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by Anonymous09/02/13

More like this

I loved the bro-sis getting together stuff, please write more stories like this. My biggest turn on is the first time they do it.

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by Anonymous09/03/13

great story

Enjoyed the slow build up and the final sex, kept me excited. Would enjoy more like this

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by Anonymous09/03/13

His sister would know about the parents, right?

The telling of the breakup with the ex has him talking about his parents... a bit of a continuity issue, but a great slow build story none the less.

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by 8letters09/03/13

Edit submitted to clean up * * * * problem

It was my intention that on scene changes, there would be a line which contained the last words of the old scene, a line consisting of four *'s, then a line starting with the first sentence of the new scene. That all got concatenated. I have no idea how long it will take for the edit to be published.

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by Anonymous09/03/13

Good job 8letters!

This was a well written, great read. Hope you turn out more like it.
;

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by Anonymous09/03/13

Great story

I would like to see a follow up keep the story going

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by Flymaster6009/03/13

great job

loved every aspect of your story.... Please keep it going

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by Anonymous09/03/13

feedback time :)

Hi man, big fan from the twins story, liked the way ya wrote this one, the innocent nature of the story in the beginning was amazingly written and captivated me completely but i found ya rushed josh's revelation of his feelings for julie a bit too quickly, it felt a lil rushed and forced but i can definitely see your growth as a writer and cant wait for the next one.
Keep it up man!
give us some updates on when ya expecting to release ya next one :)
Waywie

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by Anonymous09/03/13

Looking

Looking for more , so far its been great and I bike ride

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by Anonymous09/04/13

terrific read

Your use of language was superb. But what I liked most was the "suspense". You knew something was going to happen, but you made the reader wait in anticipation. Not rushed, not boring or slow, but perfect cadence. Really well done.

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by Anonymous09/04/13

Teasing

I enjoyed the story but would have liked it even more if she would have teased Josh. Start wearing more revealing tops, naughtier underwear to bed, or you told us of when he was in the shower, she came in to use the bathroom and saw him before he saw her.

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by satchmo_196609/05/13

Wonderfful!

Thank you for posting such a well written, erotic tale.

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by Anonymous09/05/13

Was great

I not a writer by any means, but I can say I enjoyed this story very much. Thanks for writing it.

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