Making Him Watch Ch. 02

0

0 Mate.

Can lit please add minus scores?

the woman in this story deserves to be sold to a pimp and have the shit raped out of her

and if John had any sacks, he'd be making the call as soon as he could.

1*

Just as I thought. You turned him into a wimpy cuckold. That's what we needed, some more willing cuckold stories. Doesn't loving wives have enough of them already. 1* for this "dreck".

Still, I'll have to share more about that in my next story...

Please do not bother yourself.

Kilroy

Next story?

Please, please spare us. Better yet, I'll stop reading anything you write. Willing cuckold stories are not erotic and not worth my time. 1* is too high a score for this dribble.

Going downhill

The first one was bad, but at least moderately well written, except for the serious abuse of the ellipsis. This one is garbage. Full of errors, anything but erotic, and a waste of the reader's time. An insult to everyone.

"My husband, John, was tired to the wall..." Tired? I should hope so, but tired to the wall? Nice first sentence. It sets the stage and our expectations well.

"(dwarfing John's cock a bit)" Dwarfing...a bit? Like writing Shit, a bit?

"I stand at 5'4, and am thin without being especially muscular. My breasts were only B cups..." Interesting. I STAND... AM thin... My breasts WERE B cups. I wonder what size they are now?

"A little blow job might be a fun start, but I intended to give you the pleasure of a real man's cock now." You intended? You really need to work on your verb tenses. REALLY.

That's just a sampling of the errors in the first three paragraphs.

This is embarrassing. Ignoring content, this is a two star at best. You lose another star for not knowing the difference between Non-consent and LW. Calling less than 900 words a chapter yields yet another star lost. As for the content itself? We're looking at -2 stars, minimum.

Please stop. You're going to scare away new readers.

This is one VERY sick author.

Author, take your crap and go far away (maybe Iran..they know how to deal with sicko's like you).

Sad really sad!

You had to break this up its hardly a page and the content is pure hack

Gave it a reluctant 1*

I would recommend John read "Something To Talk About: Apocalypse".
I want to read about Tiffany and Daniel DEAD.

well

O how i love the squeals of the readers who claim to hate cuckold stories but still read, comment and mark them low on a so called principal. What sad individuals.
this story is ok so far. I am interested to see where it will go in the next chapter.

Try an editor.

The husband is into it so that's a little better than chapter 1. Not sure why you split this piece off. Some fairly simple mistakes that an editor could help with.

stories of the mentally ill arent erotic

put in bdsm or gay or fetish

So they are married; but she clearly doesn't love her husband.

Or are you one of those people who think violence towards your spouse is a sign of love? Maybe if he smacked her around a little, blackened one of her eyes or left some bruises, she would know John loved her?


Pathetic. Violence is violence regardless of whether it is physical or emotional cruelty.

In What World?

Is this even the slightest bit erotic? I have a pretty open mind when it comes to the cuckold thing. I don't really understand it and its not my cup of tea but whatever floats somones boat as long as its done together. This? No fucking way. SHe is evil personified. No love, no marriage, no story worth reading. Never again. Mate!

I stand by my comment on part one of this "story"

But I echo that in spades for this part. Agree with others the editing was worse. My score dropped from a two to a one (star). I read stories like this because some stories end with the cuckold getting even, and I like reading about creative ways to do so (I like seeing a slut get her comeuppance -- no pun intended). But I see little hope of such in this tale.

Do i here STD's in her future

First off this belongs in BDSM or non consent. 2nd ever here of safe sex. Not that the sex scene is any good a quickie and a bj.. sighs

more dammnit!

everybody is a critic when you can be anonymous. please continue!

What I want to know is

How do you tie someone to a wall? Did she screw I-hooks into the studs or something?
To be honest, I didn't read this, just scanned it so I didn't score it either. It appeared to be a simple minded piece of fantasy with no real thought put into the story.
I like to read stories with some emotion that draw you into the characters. This showed me no effort on the part of the author, and before someone accuses me of never having written a story of my own, I have many posted here. I post my comments under anonymous because some take offense to my critiques and one bomb me, but I should be entitled to my opinion like everyone else.
I did scan to the bottom hoping there would be some retribution on the part of the husband. If I had seen it was the case I would have gone back and read the story but alas, it was not the case. When he immediately screwed his wife after that the story was over, no more chapters.

You tenderly persuaded me ...

to attain the blissful peak of .... SPONTANEOUS CONVULSIVE VOMITING !!!
UNO ESTRELLA !

re: anonymous- "well" and "more dammnit!"

Oh, how I love the squeal of the righteous who think their opinion is the only one that counts. Listen fuckhead I read all stories always hoping that the writer will have at least write a decent ending to a trashy tale, but like always they leave me disappointed. The last sentence of this tale made the guy a fucking wimp and a willing cuckold. This tale belongs more in fetish or bdsm. But it never fails, guys like you, the wimp ass cuckold lovers will trash anybody with an opposing opinion and actually give trash writers a high score, which to me is an insult to the good writers in loving wives. Also, anonymous-well, stick it up your ass, we all are anonymous here, including you.

re: more dammnit!

Really? You're going to make an anonymous post stating, "everybody is a critic when you can be anonymous"?

You DO realize that applies to you? If anything, it ESPECIALLY applies to you.

Fuck you little sick perverts.

You fags give men a bad name, this whore would be dead and dickhead not long after, you suck dicks, little dude.

TIRED to a wall

Anon...Hubby was NOT TIED to a wall...he was TIRED to a wall. Not sure how that works, either! But that was about par for this chapter!

3* for the spanking.

Slut.

This makes my skin crawl.

To know their are men walking around like normal guys who actually get off on this shit, would any married guy really want this shit, unbeliveable .

a good story

I liked it except it did not go into how John and she made out that evening. John should lick the cum from her ass and slap her ass a good spanking for doing this leaving her freshly licked clean ass red and burning. Then John should tie her spread eagle on the bed. Get a condom put it on and cover it with icy hot then fill her ass hole with peppers whole peppers and fuck the shit from her. Then run to the hard wear store get a pulley and alligator clamps put the alligator clamps on her nipples and clitoris then pull them tight to the ceiling. leave them for a while release them and shove her panties in her mouth take his belt and reassert his marriage by spanking her nipples and clitoris until she cums.

What makes the world go round.

Most men are born with balls, then their is the lit. cuck bunch who were not. Different strokes, right, lots of guys and their wives sitting around after dinner say I know what we can do tonight, get some rope, tie me up than leave me like that while you go out and find some guy, bring him home, he fucks you while the both of you humiliate me, than after he leaves you untie me, what do you think? Ya, I'm sure that happens all the time, W.T.F. where do you people live?

Daniel as well!

Well, maybe after John is no longer TIRED to the wall, he should AX her a question?

Hubby

Hubby is a wimp. Should be in chastity and taught to suck cock, clean cock, and swallow loads.

Second Part

I presume there will be at least a second part to this story.389E

Really?

Do guys like John really exist? Please say it ain't so. Pathetic. I skimmed the story to the part where she released him, hoping for something reasonable in a reaction. What a let down.

No one like John around that I know of.

And your ending that he wanted to take "sloppy seconds" and expose himself to all manner of social diseases was ludicrous. More likely that her would grab her and throw her cheating slut ass out of the house or call the Police and have her arrested for sexual assault, battery and illegal restraint. (All he had to say was that she tricked him and tied him up. After all the restraints had his DNA on them). Even putting that aside, she's toast. She's demeaned, abused and humiliated him, showing clearly by her actions that she has neither love or respect for him. Why would he stay married to the whore? Answer? He wouldn't. This sad story has been told and retold on this site. Yours offered nothing original or interesting to the mix.

What should have happened

After you had you fun and untied hubby. He should have systematically beat the shit out of you taking care to break every bone in your worth less hide before water boarding you so that he could find the asshole you fucked and then hunt him down and kill him.