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WHOA!

I didn't see the twist at the end! It's a rare thing when you suddenly end up rooting for the "bad" guys to win! Looking forward to chapter 2 and see how much they score in Dakota!

THAT TODDLING TOWN

can topple over if one gets discovered and found out, TK U MLJ LV NV

wow

Nice twist ending!! You really got me with that one. Well done.
Thanks

Owwwww !

That vicious twist really hurt. Now what to do with the boiling tar & feathers that I was going to anoint the cheaters in ?

it started out

exactly like at least two other stories I have read here. I'm thinking, OK, just another carbon-copy of the old "betrayal on the anniversary with the high school boyfriend" gambit. I read on because I want to know how this husband will deal with it- divorce or cuck? When he holds up the rings to sell to the crowd, I thought, OK this is different. Will she really be that clueless and still leave with the guy? And then, YEP! She IS that stupid. But then we realize the whole thing is a con, and a set-up. It was so effective, because while I'm busy looking for all of the clichés evident in this "carbon-copied" story, I'm unaware that the con has been perpetrated on ME! Good job! Thanks!

they have couples jails now

in the Dakotas the old boyfriend is libel to get a bullet hole in his head from one of the good ole boys, for that matter so might the wife

nailed it

You are on top of your game.....write more

WOW I'm Impressed!!

Like other commenters I figured this was just another cuck story. And not very original. Was already formulating a comment that wasn't too nice. Reading further it turned out to be a CON!! Started laughing so hard had tears. Damn!! This turned into a very good flash story. OK. You got me! Yes, I'm impressed. Very well written. Thanks for the read!!

Excellent

Great flash story. I haven' gone back to make sure all the ducks are in a row, but I'm betting they are. Very entertaining.

Nicely Done

I was ready to check to see if this was identical to earlier models when the twister came!

Just like the shell and pea game....

We were taken in by the sleight of hand and caught looking in the wrong direction. Nice work.

GOT ME!

Well played, Well played, suckered me right in.

Sorry, but...

I've had to delete a couple comments, not because they were negative, but because they gave away the plot. I appreciate the fantastic comments; thank you all very much, but please refrain from giving away the ending.

That was a total waste of time.

I don't see the point, it was just a bunch of nonsense.

Where did laptopwriter go?

Well done! Nicely written. Novel plot. Stirred emotion. (I was totally pissed at the "broad"by the time she left the bar.)

Very nice

Love your story, great bit of creative writing. Thank you.

What a twist

I was ready to hang the wife and lover.....that's a real "gotcha"

"Sorry, but...

I've had to delete a couple comments, not because they were negative, but because they gave away the plot. I appreciate the fantastic comments; thank you all very much, but please refrain from giving away the ending."

You mean there's more to this garbage?

ROFLMAO!

Great Story! Great Read!
Sure didn't see that one coming, fooled the heck out of me!
I Love When That Happens!

ok

Ok story but having read half the original before even with your twist it's not a patch on your usual work. I think you are a victim of your own fame :)

Interesting con game.

And for three grifters, they seem to be doing well. But at some point, given the fact that they are constantly making a scene in a public place, someone is going to trip them up. And unless they are doing this several nights a week, they aren't really making retirement money. And where would they retire in safety?

Enjoyed it

Very clever tale.

Twists and turns

Thoroughly enjoyed the emotional rollercoaster you put me on.
The ending was well conceived.
Excellent short story.
Shocked at the low score, it is so much better than that.

Thank you,
M1*****

Not bad

It was well written, would like to see more.
I know it is a flash story, but I would love read how they got into the profession of grifters and how strong their love is.

Good story

Nice twist at the end...

Good story

But I guess it struck me as a little weird at the end.

Fiendish little fuckers -

They have a hell of a racket going there - and it could work exactly that way -

Of course like any con game they have to walk a very careful line to avoid being found out - but that is a given anyway.

Very creatively done and a happy couple after all -

Do not understand

I do not get the low scores. This is a mighty fine flash story.

Great job!!!

What a scam!!!

You played the loving wife angle perfectly. For a flash story this was well rounded and complete.
I thought she was an ungrateful bitch, but boy was I fooled. I agree with the previous comment, can't believe the low score.
A solid five from me.

Bewildered!

I too am mystified at the (relatively) low score on this story. This was a very clever piece of imagination, well written with a delicious twist at the end.

On the other hand, look at some of the BTB stories (HueMutt's come to mind) that are practically illiterate, with confused plots based on nonsense details, but score so well.

Clearly if you don't write the same theme over and over again, there are readers who just can't appreciate the story for its own internal qualities, if it doesn't fit into their ideas.

WoW

I was really getting pissed and looking forward to some hardcore BTB.
Fooled me completely, thank you I actually breathed a big sigh of relief.

low scores

The low scores are probably due to the fact that nobody likes being scammed; not even a reader on this story site! But I gave it a 3

Different

Frankly fun to,read.
George in Omsha

the only ones who got conned

were the readers.
this joke was not funny.

Damn

I went from being interested to getting angry to being totally pissed off. Totally worthless people in a totally worthless situation. It this was in the Humor category I might have thought it was funny. Maybe. However here it's just sad. I guess everyone has an off day sometimes. Except for me of course. All my days are off.
Now that was funny.

Cheers all round

A little late to comment on this but . . . cheers for the con artists (and that especially includes laptopwriter). Must confess I saw the twist coming (my devious and crooked mind) and more might have been made of the celebratory sex. But that's just a quibble.

A good story...

I can picture it going south in a hurry. Some lonely guy who just got his heart broke by some cheap slut wife, watches this unfold and loses it. He follows the couple out in the parking lot and empties his 44 magnum into the cheating couple.

Lol

I've never been so furious as to find that you tricked me! Hahaha excellent writing, sir. I applaud you.

Great Story****

Something different. Thanks for sharing.

The con game...

The con game...always ends bad...But a funny reading

Partners in crime.Partners in life.

Isn't it an irony,especially in the L.W. genre,cheaters to the world are the most faithful life partners.
As for the low scores, I think the BTB brigade is irked by the fallacy of their prime quote,"ones a cheater, always a cheater", after reading this story.
Thanx for the classic O.Henry twist.
The 5th * from me.

You Got Me, LOL!

For what it's worth (not much, LOL!), here are my thoughts when I thought it was real:

They’re having a romantic dinner celebrating their anniversary and she lets an old boyfriend join them?!

Just like “But, Honey, It Was Just A Dance”, you don’t ask a woman to dance without asking her escort for his permission first!

Not my favorite.

With all your great stories there had to be one I didn't like. Scamming others is almost worse than what they were pretending to do. You're still one of my favorite authors.
JudyLee

THERE ARE SCAMMERS EVERY WHERE

and suckers who are born every minute. TK U MLJ LV NV

Alright....I think I am a comment that was deleted.

So I shall rewrite it. =-)

I started out being very angry with the main characters....

Much better ending than I thought though. Still want to slap a few people but I was smiling.

That good enough so I don't give away the ending? =-)

Sincerely,
Payenbrant

???

So how is he planning on making money in the Dakotas???

Sounds like a pimp. Could you elaborate?

"in soviet russia, plot twists you"

- yakov smirnoff

You got me!

I have to admit, I didn't see that ending coming. I've been had once by Grifters on the take, so I should have seen it coming . Damn it! Very original and well worth the price of admission.

I'm fond of surprise endings

And this was a good one.
You're becoming one of my favorite authors. :o)

Whoa

Soooo F'd up it was great! surprise surprise surprise! :)