SJP continues to express despair and depression extremely well with extensive narration and very limited dialogue. She is my GoTo writer during my manic periods. Or when I am really horny (same thing?) and not in a situation to relieve it, solo or paired!
Likidee might have been right in that this story was almost anti erotic. As well written as it was it was seriously depressing. As fiction it is just plain sad.
Suzy still hates nay despises men. Both mostly she loathes husbands.
I would bet she would love to off every single husband in everyone of her stories.
Hell she has them as nothing but hollow retched husks of people.
This so-called story (soliloquy if the main character were to speak his mind out loud) continues with the cuckold saying the same thing, over and over. After a bit, it gets old. OK, we get it. He regrets agreeing to let his wife fuck other men, it no longer excites him enough to reach a real climax let alone achieve a reasonable erection, and he realizes his wife no longer loves him and perhaps never did. I suppose it illustrates how a one-sided "open marriage" can be destructive to a marital relationship. The plot, as it were, is pretty depressing and of course, completely misleading. The cuckold husband could have a penile implant and fuck non-stop for hours so long as he did not get sore. There are hints that he's wealthy -- why doesn't he do this? Maybe in chapter 2?
This so-called story (soliloquy if the main character were to speak his mind out loud) continues with the cuckold saying the same thing, over and over. After a bit, it gets old. OK, we get it. He regrets agreeing to let his wife fuck other men, it no longer excites him enough to reach a real climax let alone achieve a reasonable erection, and he realizes his wife no longer loves him and perhaps never did. I suppose it illustrates how a one-sided "open marriage" can be destructive to a marital relationship. The plot, as it were, is pretty depressing and of course, completely misleading. The cuckold husband could have a penile implant and fuck non-stop for hours so long as he did not get sore. There are hints that he's wealthy -- why doesn't he do this? Maybe in chapter 2?
I've read a lot of your submissions. This one started out well but then started to repeat itself with describing his predicament. When I got to the bottom of the first page I couldn't believe it wasn't done... there was a page 2. It DID start out good but then sentences started getting longer with a single sentence becoming a paragraph of its own. You described his anguish in fantastic detail but repeating it didn't help.... at least not for Me. It's obvious he had good intentions and then regretted it. A good story for the angry readers who just open these stories to attack women who have "broken their marriage vows". Normally good, but this one was not good for Me.
3 stars.
A talk with his doctor should have revealed surgery to implant the pump up or permanent metal rods. The wife would have liked that because she could stay on it even after he had cum.
I'm willing to bet is we opened your head and listened in on your mini brain we'd hear your same thoughts over and over and over again.
"I'm horny. I need to read Literotica. I need to masturbate. I'm horny. I need to read Literotica. I need to masturbate."
That's interior monologue. We all have it and we all do it. Unless you're a rocket science or a Nobel prize winner, we are all boring as Hell when talking to ourselves.
I forgive you for being and asshole and making an ass out of yourself.
Thank you very much for all of you who have read, voted, and/or comment on my story. Yet, you're score of 2.3 is much too generous for my hard work.
Tell me what the secret is for writing a story in the Loving Wives category because all of you cocksuckers are ungrateful, rude, miserable assholes and I hope you all die of cancer.
You are a wonderful writer SJP. I enjoy how you make me react to your well developed characters, whether I feel admiration, love, hate, pity, etc. I'll be honest that this was not one of my favorites stories of yours. However, it won't stop me from reading all your offerings. You write so well, I don't even have any criticism for you. I'd ask your opinion before I'd offer mine. You have written so many wonderul stories, you have a ton of "get out of jail free" cards on file with me. Thanks for all you give me with your written word. Keep writing and sharing.
Could it possibly be that this story just does not do it for most people? Myself included. I love your writing. You are one of the most talented authors on this site but for some reason this story just does not sit well with me. I know this means little to you but the best authors in history have written some stuff that was not very good. You cannot hit a home run every time out. This just happens to be one of those.Deal with it. Lastly you might want to work on anger management a bit. Calling everyone an asshole because they dont like your story. Really?Sounds a bit shrewish if you ask me.
SJP -- I normally don't engage in debate with an author in the public comment section
But in this case, I'll make an exception. You should understand that my comments on your story were not personal. They were simply impressions, impressions some other readers have echoed, by the way. They are actually intended to help authors to improve their stories by exposing weaknesses, whether they are technical writing errors, plot flaws, or editing mistakes.
But you made it personal with deragatory comments about me, someone you don't know, and my intelligence, which you are incapable of measuring. While I have not won a Nobel prize, I have achieved much in my career and your tantrum (reaction to my less-than-enthusiastic feelings about your story) will not diminish my success. You should understand that resorting to foolish, personal attacks, as in a debate, simply makes you look weak and desperate, as I'm sure others will agree.
If you cannot handle criticism, then why not turn the comments off? I expect you'll delete this fairly soon, so I won't spend much more time on it. But understand that personal attacks on your readers will soon result in very few willing to bother reading your work. You'll catch more flies with honey and sugar rather than vinegar -- you might try to remember that.
Not sure about that. Sure seems to be an ANGRY writer as evidenced by her comments. In the case of this story it seems the comments and retorts make for more interesting and provocative reading than does the story about the spineless cuckold.
And SJP? You've written enough to know better than to get into a running cat fight with all the silly commentators, including me. Who the heck cares what we write in our comments? I refer you to the notorious Justplainbob. A prolific writer of stories here on Lit, some of which I love and some I hate. He simply tells the readers that he writes for his own enjoyment and readers comments be damned! Maybe you could adopt his turtle shell in that regards. Best of luck. I admire anyone that publishes herein. Whether I like their stories or not at least they had the courage to give it a go. Which is more than can be said for the rest of us that sit back and throw darts!
Ms Parker, you have written a thought provoking story! Some will relate to it, and some will hate it! What they each have to realize is that it is just a story! Thank you. For sharing it with us!
AhhSkip the mindmeld oh rutting,wonderous almighty focused, and logical.. standard setter...You do know how to contact the author.... It's in your star fleet training manual under..how to NOT become infectiously limp in the future (knowing you're just so very sure of yourself upon being afforded the luxury ofa millennia of star dates devoid of your author/predecessor's past error)."how to be kind enough to set aside the fact that your 72 hour window for procreative duties....oh, check page 11,549 of the Vulcan manual's DIRECTORY and go bone up there????....Bones??...Where's Bones??
Damn, this story. You seem to understand my dilemma over the loss of my sex a little to well. Fortunately my wife has not desired a lifestyle like this hapless gentleman. Respectfully please stop tormenting me! Thanks for a eye openning story.
English
Still anti-erotic
SJP continues to express despair and depression extremely well with extensive narration and very limited dialogue. She is my GoTo writer during my manic periods. Or when I am really horny (same thing?) and not in a situation to relieve it, solo or paired!
Well Written as Usual
Likidee might have been right in that this story was almost anti erotic. As well written as it was it was seriously depressing. As fiction it is just plain sad.
excellent, as usual
she gets to the heart of the matter quickly, so I agree with the other writers that say go to for their "fix".......thank you Susan!
Nice to see
Suzy still hates nay despises men. Both mostly she loathes husbands.
I would bet she would love to off every single husband in everyone of her stories.
Hell she has them as nothing but hollow retched husks of people.
'Her mother's pie-hole??' Gross.
It's enough to turn me asexual. 2*
DYK? 80% of men have erectile dysfunction at some point in their lifetimes!
Saying that, I quite enjoyed reading this one! Good bit of anger released!
Main character is well dumb! Well done!!
depressing. bitter. vile.
See Richard Harris in the 1981 downer "Your ticket is no longer valid".
This was too repetitive
This so-called story (soliloquy if the main character were to speak his mind out loud) continues with the cuckold saying the same thing, over and over. After a bit, it gets old. OK, we get it. He regrets agreeing to let his wife fuck other men, it no longer excites him enough to reach a real climax let alone achieve a reasonable erection, and he realizes his wife no longer loves him and perhaps never did. I suppose it illustrates how a one-sided "open marriage" can be destructive to a marital relationship. The plot, as it were, is pretty depressing and of course, completely misleading. The cuckold husband could have a penile implant and fuck non-stop for hours so long as he did not get sore. There are hints that he's wealthy -- why doesn't he do this? Maybe in chapter 2?
This was too repetitive
This so-called story (soliloquy if the main character were to speak his mind out loud) continues with the cuckold saying the same thing, over and over. After a bit, it gets old. OK, we get it. He regrets agreeing to let his wife fuck other men, it no longer excites him enough to reach a real climax let alone achieve a reasonable erection, and he realizes his wife no longer loves him and perhaps never did. I suppose it illustrates how a one-sided "open marriage" can be destructive to a marital relationship. The plot, as it were, is pretty depressing and of course, completely misleading. The cuckold husband could have a penile implant and fuck non-stop for hours so long as he did not get sore. There are hints that he's wealthy -- why doesn't he do this? Maybe in chapter 2?
read many
I've read a lot of your submissions. This one started out well but then started to repeat itself with describing his predicament. When I got to the bottom of the first page I couldn't believe it wasn't done... there was a page 2. It DID start out good but then sentences started getting longer with a single sentence becoming a paragraph of its own. You described his anguish in fantastic detail but repeating it didn't help.... at least not for Me. It's obvious he had good intentions and then regretted it. A good story for the angry readers who just open these stories to attack women who have "broken their marriage vows". Normally good, but this one was not good for Me.
3 stars.
why suffer like that?
A talk with his doctor should have revealed surgery to implant the pump up or permanent metal rods. The wife would have liked that because she could stay on it even after he had cum.
To Aquarianpen
You do realized that this is a fictional story right?
To lickiteesplit
Being that the story made you sad/depressed shows that I captured my character. I did my job as a writer.
Vulcan in Ohio
Do you know what interior monologue is?
I'm willing to bet is we opened your head and listened in on your mini brain we'd hear your same thoughts over and over and over again.
"I'm horny. I need to read Literotica. I need to masturbate. I'm horny. I need to read Literotica. I need to masturbate."
That's interior monologue. We all have it and we all do it. Unless you're a rocket science or a Nobel prize winner, we are all boring as Hell when talking to ourselves.
I forgive you for being and asshole and making an ass out of yourself.
Thank you
Thank you very much for all of you who have read, voted, and/or comment on my story. Yet, you're score of 2.3 is much too generous for my hard work.
Tell me what the secret is for writing a story in the Loving Wives category because all of you cocksuckers are ungrateful, rude, miserable assholes and I hope you all die of cancer.
"Ah, I feel better now."
Have a nice day.
Wonderful writer
You are a wonderful writer SJP. I enjoy how you make me react to your well developed characters, whether I feel admiration, love, hate, pity, etc. I'll be honest that this was not one of my favorites stories of yours. However, it won't stop me from reading all your offerings. You write so well, I don't even have any criticism for you. I'd ask your opinion before I'd offer mine. You have written so many wonderul stories, you have a ton of "get out of jail free" cards on file with me. Thanks for all you give me with your written word. Keep writing and sharing.
Voted You a 4 but.....
Could it possibly be that this story just does not do it for most people? Myself included. I love your writing. You are one of the most talented authors on this site but for some reason this story just does not sit well with me. I know this means little to you but the best authors in history have written some stuff that was not very good. You cannot hit a home run every time out. This just happens to be one of those.Deal with it. Lastly you might want to work on anger management a bit. Calling everyone an asshole because they dont like your story. Really?Sounds a bit shrewish if you ask me.
SJP -- I normally don't engage in debate with an author in the public comment section
But in this case, I'll make an exception. You should understand that my comments on your story were not personal. They were simply impressions, impressions some other readers have echoed, by the way. They are actually intended to help authors to improve their stories by exposing weaknesses, whether they are technical writing errors, plot flaws, or editing mistakes.
But you made it personal with deragatory comments about me, someone you don't know, and my intelligence, which you are incapable of measuring. While I have not won a Nobel prize, I have achieved much in my career and your tantrum (reaction to my less-than-enthusiastic feelings about your story) will not diminish my success. You should understand that resorting to foolish, personal attacks, as in a debate, simply makes you look weak and desperate, as I'm sure others will agree.
If you cannot handle criticism, then why not turn the comments off? I expect you'll delete this fairly soon, so I won't spend much more time on it. But understand that personal attacks on your readers will soon result in very few willing to bother reading your work. You'll catch more flies with honey and sugar rather than vinegar -- you might try to remember that.
A wonderful writer?
Not sure about that. Sure seems to be an ANGRY writer as evidenced by her comments. In the case of this story it seems the comments and retorts make for more interesting and provocative reading than does the story about the spineless cuckold.
And SJP? You've written enough to know better than to get into a running cat fight with all the silly commentators, including me. Who the heck cares what we write in our comments? I refer you to the notorious Justplainbob. A prolific writer of stories here on Lit, some of which I love and some I hate. He simply tells the readers that he writes for his own enjoyment and readers comments be damned! Maybe you could adopt his turtle shell in that regards. Best of luck. I admire anyone that publishes herein. Whether I like their stories or not at least they had the courage to give it a go. Which is more than can be said for the rest of us that sit back and throw darts!
Ms Parker, you have written a thought provoking story! Some will relate to it, and some will hate it! What they each have to realize is that it is just a story! Thank you. For sharing it with us!
Vulcan..??.. half-breed??
AhhSkip the mindmeld oh rutting,wonderous almighty focused, and logical.. standard setter...You do know how to contact the author.... It's in your star fleet training manual under..how to NOT become infectiously limp in the future (knowing you're just so very sure of yourself upon being afforded the luxury ofa millennia of star dates devoid of your author/predecessor's past error)."how to be kind enough to set aside the fact that your 72 hour window for procreative duties....oh, check page 11,549 of the Vulcan manual's DIRECTORY and go bone up there????....Bones??...Where's Bones??
Damn, this story. You seem to understand my dilemma over the loss of my sex a little to well. Fortunately my wife has not desired a lifestyle like this hapless gentleman. Respectfully please stop tormenting me! Thanks for a eye openning story.
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