Frank and Shayleen Ch. 02

HOW FAR TO FORGIVE

depends on how far you believe. TK U MLJ LV NV

And the end got here and BOOM!

He got stupid, believed her and decided she'd never cheat again. What a dummy.

it's you

I ain't sold.

good story shitty ending

the problem is in 2 or 3 years he will come home early and find her fucking someone in their bed. all you need to know about her is that she refused to sign the post-nup that would hurt her if he caught her cheating. thats it nuff said.

Please

Slit your throat. Do it now, faggot.

Blecch!

When she refused to sign the post-nups it was just as he said - she either knew she would cheat again, or at least couldn't trust HERSELF enough to sign them, so why should he trust her?

Neither one of them had the high morale ground in this one.

But for a guy that had wanted her forever he sure dragged his feet in the mud accepting her back. Actually she never left. He was just stuck in the past and couldn't imagine a woman being both truthful and honest with him. That was what was holding him back. He had to move on from the past and embrace his future. He finally did but she literally had to kick him in the balls to get him moved out of the past. Not too bad Bob.

Really?

I guess anonymous below is OK with their spouse putting someones dick in their mouth.
She cheated, she's sorry, she's not going to do it again... OK, I can see a reconciliation because she's pregnant, and didn't follow through. But he's not at fault.

ULTIMATUMS

are no better than blackmail. TK U MLJ LV NV

Guns

A POS Llama? In.380? Girly gun for a girly man.

She lied. He should have kept her DVD after seeing her suck and throat Buckwheat's ... oops, I meant Trayvon ... dick. Irreversibly unforgivable!

WTF is a 'Trayvon' anyway Bob? You sure do love digging in the woodpile.

If you change you mind and don't rob the bank you can be charged with many things but you can not be charged with bank robbery. Just as she fully intended to cheat she also changed her mind.
He is an arsewipe, lying to her, threatening and blackmailing her. He is as bad as her 1st husband - mental cruelty is as bad as physical cruelty.

When, exactly, did you decide to simply phone-in the conclusion?

JPB, I am sorely disappointed in you.

You've shown, time and again, that you are cognizant of the importance that suspension of disbelief plays in fiction. I have no doubt that you have spent hours upon hours crafting your stories to do justice to the tale and reach the resolution you desire, all while maintaining the world of words so that the reader feels as if they are part of the events unfolding before their eyes.

...so why did you decide to phone it in at the end of this story?

Face it, Bob: you did just that.

There was no lead-up to her final declaration, nor was there any real justification of not only her using the, "You swore you'd never leave me!" ploy, but of his accepting that defense, as well. This, quite simply, came out of left field and manages to break your carefully-crafted world in one fell swoop. At the very end of the story, the reader is left completely aware that this makes no real sense. It's not as if you had spent any time on your protagonist's anxiety or angst because there was an internal conflict about his ability to stay with her; you really didn't, aside from a few minimal words about how he had to face the inevitability of things since they no longer saw eye to eye on this most important issue.

There was no prose dedicated to guiding the reader through the process that led from your protagonist being pretty much "done" with the relationship to him now being right back in it. It. Just. Made. No. Sense. It's like Sue Ellen waking up and discovering Bobby in the shower, meaning that an entire season of Dallas was nothing more than a dream. A pitiful ruse - hell, it's a Maguffin that even Shakespeare wouldn't touch with a barge pole!

I'm not one of those who insists on BTB, and I'm not one who is going to get my knickers in a twist when the story doesn't go in the direction I want or expect it to (despite what you might think from my rant so far). What I AM critical of is when storytelling falls well short of the mark. Sometimes it's grammar and punctuation - because, let's face it, English is such a nuanced pain in the ass of a language that even a comma or colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence or phrase - while other times it is the failure of concepts such as suspension of disbelief.

I've read your other works, Bob; heck, I've voted quite favorably for the majority of them. However, this one just left me disappointed, though not with the outcome.

My disappointment was with the obvious lack of effort at the end of it all.

Again, An Unfinished Ending

You seem to hurry through to an unfinished ending. Are you getting bored with writing? Trying to hurry to the next story? What? You also need someone to REALLY CHECK YOUR SPELLING AND GRAMMAR, because your spell/grammar checker isn't working. You need a HUMAN that knows what their doing to do it.