- All
Comments (5) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
First line of story
"Tentatively, she laid down on the bed." is grammatically incorrect. It SHOULD read, 'Tentatively, she LAY down on the bed."
If I can't even read ONE SENTENCE without being distracted from your story by errors in your writing, I won't keep reading. In fact, I didn't keep reading. I stopped right there.
positive feedback
If that is all it to make someone stop reading, they dont finish many stories on here! :) You wrote a good story with hot sex, not a classic meant to last the ages. Any chance of another chapter?
hmmm love story not horror though
You have more chapters coming out. Pretty please?
more
More please....it was hot
Awesome story
I came to your stories by reading your How-to break taboos believably first. You are a super writer. I enjoy your work. Keep up the good job!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Dreamwalkers: First Contact or
More submissions by Acktion.