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English
crap again
another one of those
Decent but unremarkable recounting of MFM 3 some
There's no depth or backstory to characters. Everyone is a puppet whose sole purpose is to enact out a heated, taboo act . But there's no heat or thrill without some degree of attachment to people involved.
This is a bit of a shame. Some authors excell at drama but fail in sharing carnal clinches . This author does have a flair describing the bump and grind but not the process that gives the action real heft. *** .
I feel your pain
but fair play is fair play.
Your idea of a good night is not mine.
Why are you and this slut married again, I think I might find a new roommate.
amateurish.
At least you could be consistent with names- Luke becomes Lance and then Luke... amateurish.
And as others have suggested--- cardboard cutout characters with no dimension. Heck even stating what the female measurements gives no depth!
Please Proof Read or Get an Editor!
The story was bad enough. Only to be made worse by making it difficult to read. What's the guys name? Luke? or is it Lance? You used both. Lance lifted V up". Or "Luke? Your ex-boyfriend Luke?" Geez.
Your couple needs to call it quits now. 1* If she didn't like his dick size, why did she marry him in the first place? Oh yeah, that's right, she just wants a meal ticket.
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