... a truly dreadful story!
Why?
Because you tried to make out that 'I', the Reader, was involved in the story when I know full well that I was not!
Therefore the story is truly unbelievable!
No believability = nonsense.
Sorry!
by
Anonymous10/09/13
first reviewer needs an education, in many things!
guess some have never heard of first-person narrative--it is the author, not the reader, who is speaking as "I",
and I very much enjoyed going up that elevator shaft, slowly but quickly.
by
Anonymous10/09/13
Duh
The problem isn't "I, the author"
The problem is that the story talks about "you" (that is, me, the reader) but since I wasn't there, and don't wear earrings, you lose me.
To anonymous 1 and 3. Really? You thought "you" referred to "you" the reader? I have assumed a high level of intelligence among Literotica readers. Apparently you are the exception that proves the rule. As Shakespeare said, “I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
English
For me ...
... a truly dreadful story!
Why?
Because you tried to make out that 'I', the Reader, was involved in the story when I know full well that I was not!
Therefore the story is truly unbelievable!
No believability = nonsense.
Sorry!
first reviewer needs an education, in many things!
guess some have never heard of first-person narrative--it is the author, not the reader, who is speaking as "I",
and I very much enjoyed going up that elevator shaft, slowly but quickly.
Duh
The problem isn't "I, the author"
The problem is that the story talks about "you" (that is, me, the reader) but since I wasn't there, and don't wear earrings, you lose me.
You lose 99% of your audience
Never ever use "you" in a story
Really?
To anonymous 1 and 3. Really? You thought "you" referred to "you" the reader? I have assumed a high level of intelligence among Literotica readers. Apparently you are the exception that proves the rule. As Shakespeare said, “I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
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