I like the diary form you used here and the clever idea of creating the tools and the materials for the painting from the barbarian's body. Your language is also quite exact, but I wish you had taken the painting idea to some sort of pay-off.
Since the barbarian supplies all the raw materials for the painting, why not imbue it with supernatural powers or have the narrator be so enraged by the rejection of the gallery owner that he kills the barbarian and uses his blood to turn it into an erotic/horror masterpiece?
As it is your story feels unfinished. I like your writing though!
Thank you everybody for the comments so far, public and private!
Several people have now said that the story feels "incomplete" or something along those lines. I guess It's a really thin line between leaving things open to the imagination of the reader and being too vague.
I wasn't planning on writing a sequel, but now that that idea has been planted in my head, let's see if it sprouts.
The idea to this story, btw, came to me while cuddling with my fuckbuddy post sex, and wondering about the different kinds of hair that covered his body on different spots; and I thought about how different kinds of paint brushes are made from various animal furs. The idea of using a man like an animal (shearing, milking) or like an object (as a stool) turn me on like crazy, so...
I would be interested in knowing whether you went with a female or male narrator. I wrote it with a woman in mind.
Although the watersports reference didn't appeal to me, the story is inventive and well-written. I think you succeeded in permitting the narrator to be either female or male--and think you could have maintained that through some ass play too. The Barbarian could have ridden the narrator's ass without pinning down the narrator's gender. Looking forward to seeing other fresh stories from you on Literotica.
English
Hope you continue this. It was interesting.
Wonderful story
I wouldn't know that English is not your first language had you not mentioned it in your bio. Your writing is very polished.
The ambiguous gender of the narrator is a nice touch. It would be nice to have more of this story, if the muse visits.
Bloody Barbarians!!
Hylas,
I like the diary form you used here and the clever idea of creating the tools and the materials for the painting from the barbarian's body. Your language is also quite exact, but I wish you had taken the painting idea to some sort of pay-off.
Since the barbarian supplies all the raw materials for the painting, why not imbue it with supernatural powers or have the narrator be so enraged by the rejection of the gallery owner that he kills the barbarian and uses his blood to turn it into an erotic/horror masterpiece?
As it is your story feels unfinished. I like your writing though!
Subtext
Thank you everybody for the comments so far, public and private!
Several people have now said that the story feels "incomplete" or something along those lines. I guess It's a really thin line between leaving things open to the imagination of the reader and being too vague.
I wasn't planning on writing a sequel, but now that that idea has been planted in my head, let's see if it sprouts.
The idea to this story, btw, came to me while cuddling with my fuckbuddy post sex, and wondering about the different kinds of hair that covered his body on different spots; and I thought about how different kinds of paint brushes are made from various animal furs. The idea of using a man like an animal (shearing, milking) or like an object (as a stool) turn me on like crazy, so...
I would be interested in knowing whether you went with a female or male narrator. I wrote it with a woman in mind.
Inventive
Although the watersports reference didn't appeal to me, the story is inventive and well-written. I think you succeeded in permitting the narrator to be either female or male--and think you could have maintained that through some ass play too. The Barbarian could have ridden the narrator's ass without pinning down the narrator's gender. Looking forward to seeing other fresh stories from you on Literotica.
Hilarious !! Well done !!
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