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Down To Me

bySandman8314©
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by Anonymous

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by todski2809/23/13

And

I think personally it would read better without all the ands all in all I like what you are doing just not quite the way you did it,

Femaleness kinda clunks. may I suggest femininity?

Could cut a lot out and get as good a final result. Just my 2cents

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by LesseloovesPeter09/23/13

Creation of Jesus?

You've got good stuff here but Tod is right, less ands would be less clunky and better flow.

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