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Everyone Hurts

bytheoncomingstorm©
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by Anonymous

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by todski2809/29/13

could probably

in my opinion lose the constant repeats

We all have pasts
We all have pain
We all have fears
We all have shame

would read better to me

We all have pasts,
pain,
fears,
shame,

etc through the stanzas, but keep the final two stanza as is for impact. plus the second to last flip flops between my/your so it needs to repeat to make sense

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by LesseloovesPeter09/29/13

I agree with todski, less repetition would help the flow but very good philosophical look at how objectively subjective life is.

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