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Jezebel's Tale Ch. 06

byMagicwrtr©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/21/15

Maybe it just me but......

Is this one of your very first attempts at writing? I ask because this reads more like the script for a play or an instruction manual than a story. It's very oddly disconnected in terms of flow, word usage, context and tense usage (past, present, future tense). The story is okay but I feel absolutely nothing for any of the characters at all! Your other stories (the ones I've read thus far) had me enthralled and emotionally invested, while this one I don't think I can even finish reading. It's really weird. Like this story and Flame of Cytherea were written by two different people.

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by Magicwrtr05/21/15

....

Obviously it was. If you stick with it though I work more on character development and emotions in this story as it goes on. But yes, this and the genie story were my first efforts at writing... ever.

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