Oh My God Ch. 07

just maybe lila will be come a sister subbie?

Nah

They need to find Lila her own geekMaster. Plenty of good hunting grounds at Kathy's s school and Ian's work.

Enjoy this whole story very much. I've been trying to figure out what was bothering me about the dialogue. I think it is that often everyone's speach is too proper for real conversation. It makes it seem as if everyone is speaking to their maiden great aunt. Such politeness concerning a delicate topic. Miss Manners would be proud. ;)

This is a very lovely story, with a large amount of room to build upon. Oftentimes authors end up writing themselves into a corner storywise. This is especially true of erotic stories, which involve the process of lovemaking often as a main feature. Those aren't found here. Instead, you have kept your story open for continuation and have kept he focus mainly on the relationship between the two protagonists, which makes this a wonderful story. Let us hope you keep up the good work.

Agree about the speech in the story

Gave it a 3*, the conversation does not 'flow' as normal conversation, its too stilted. Also there seems to be too much "master", I think that the master himself would consider it a 'bit over the top'. generally if there are other people around, (particularly police) the sub does not start calling him master until they establish that these people are familiar with BDSM.

Great story for the most part but some of the dialogue and conversations between character's felt off. Also any cop that assault's and then tries to frame a member of the public will more than likely end up in jail, not just get fired.

This is such a great story

Very much unlike your typical BDSM story. Some stories leave me feeling badly, wondering who would write such things and how could one person treat another this way. Not this story! I have enjoyed every chapter! I have one question: In the beginning, Ian professes to know nothing of the BDSM lifestyle, yet by chapter 5, he is acting like a seasoned dominant. You make no mention as to how he acquired this knowledge. Other than that, it's a great story! Please continue. You may even have a spinoff story based on Lila.

Not a critic just a reader.

Great story. Hope you will continue with the possibilities that were left wide open. Thank you