Not my cup of tea as I intimated after the first chapter.
by
Anonymous10/10/13
sorry gave it another 1*
Was hoping things would improve after the first chapter, this one is just as bad, the addition of the gun is cringeworthy. I know how bad it would be to try and kneel with sore and bruised knees, as I could not kneel to 'save my life'. Giving up on reading any further chapters.
Your writing style is clean and direct. That feeds the intensity of the scene which is already at/beyond most people's desire to process. The scene itself is 100% intensity. There is nothing from outside the immediate action to dilute it to a manageable level for the broader audience that can't fathom being in this situation. Granted, this is obviously not intended as a character study or grand romance. However, most readers enjoy stories by placing themselves there-participant or voyeur. You are beyond most of us.
I would suggest re-evaluating your story tags as they serve to help readers avoid stories as much as seek stories. Blow job and large hips are not very helpful to potential readers as much as gun play and breath play may have been.
I really appreciate the advice for the last comment. I will be choosing my tags much more carefully ;) Thank you again!
by
Anonymous10/11/13
Going along with the Dawin Awards comment
Tragic accidents happen all the time when guns are involved for the most miniscule circumstances, but I do not suppose if he did accidentally shoot her that he would be overly concerned or even suspect he would be arrested for murder, after all this thing just a worthless slave.
English
different strokes and all...
However, your opening sentence is a Darwin Award in the making.
Sorry
Not my cup of tea as I intimated after the first chapter.
sorry gave it another 1*
Was hoping things would improve after the first chapter, this one is just as bad, the addition of the gun is cringeworthy. I know how bad it would be to try and kneel with sore and bruised knees, as I could not kneel to 'save my life'. Giving up on reading any further chapters.
The honesty is refreshing
My taste seems to be a little taboo.
Good day to you all!
Further reflections...
Your writing style is clean and direct. That feeds the intensity of the scene which is already at/beyond most people's desire to process. The scene itself is 100% intensity. There is nothing from outside the immediate action to dilute it to a manageable level for the broader audience that can't fathom being in this situation. Granted, this is obviously not intended as a character study or grand romance. However, most readers enjoy stories by placing themselves there-participant or voyeur. You are beyond most of us.
I would suggest re-evaluating your story tags as they serve to help readers avoid stories as much as seek stories. Blow job and large hips are not very helpful to potential readers as much as gun play and breath play may have been.
Thank you!
I really appreciate the advice for the last comment. I will be choosing my tags much more carefully ;) Thank you again!
Going along with the Dawin Awards comment
Tragic accidents happen all the time when guns are involved for the most miniscule circumstances, but I do not suppose if he did accidentally shoot her that he would be overly concerned or even suspect he would be arrested for murder, after all this thing just a worthless slave.
Calm Down
Calm down people, it's just a story...Fantasy. Role play. Dom Sub play.
Gun play...A STORY
That was one of the best ones i've read. Each of your chapters leaveme on the edge, keep them coming(:
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