All Comments on 'God of Mischief and Lies'

I really liked the story, but it felt a lot less non-con then others in this category. That said, it was still realy, really enjoyable. Nice work :)

I loved the story line. Well done and PLEASE keep the stories coming!!

Your writing is fantastic in every way!!! Very few errors, intense and interesting characters, great pacing, unusual perspective... I hope you submit many more stories, but whatever you do, KEEP WRITING! This blows many published works out of the water.

Oh. My. God. Love love love love. Best I've read in a long long time! PLEASE do more chapters!!!!

Amazing read with interesting characters. Very well written, you weave an exotic & believable world. Intense but sweet - really enjoyable.

So, I haven't read the whole thing yet. Actually I've only read the first paragraph. I promise I will comment again after I've finished reading the chapter, but I just had to say, "Wow." Loki? I thought I was the only one in the world who thought about him in that way... Awesome!

I loved everything about this! Loved it so much I read it twice. Great story line, very sensual and erotic, a good pace, and the flow was great! I can't wait to see more of your writings. I will be watching intently! Keep up the great work!!

Country_beauty

I read two stories by ashon tonight and this tops them both. keep writing.

I read a lot on here and wow this is the best in a LONG time! Thank you so much for this awesome story! I do hope you write a series in the future !

Oh my holy god, you guys are the best. Thank you so much for all your positive feedback! I was honestly terrified when I put this up, because no one (and I do mean NO ONE) has ever seen any of my work before. You guys made me all blushy. I am working on a chapter two, or rather, a follow-up story, for anyone who's interested. Also, for Afridelle, I agree, it's not so much non-con as just... the reluctance part.

But seriously, you guys made the rest of my week. I've been squeeeeeing in my head all day.

Best story I have ever read on here!

Loved It! Outstanding! What more can I say. 5*

:)

I love this, sequel please!

Very entertaining. very well written. My only criticism: it's not a non-consent/reluctance story It belongs under t nonhuman or Scifi/Fantasy. I would hardly call her unwilling. I look forward to your next story.

Love it!! Your such a talented writer can't wait to read more!!

Truly one of the best stories I've read on here. You're fantastic! Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Amazing! You capture Loki perfectly! If you've never thought of writing a novel before, I think you should consider it! This story could easily become one of my favorite books!

One of the best things I have ever read on this site. You are great with dialogue. It flows and it isn't stilted, awkward or cheesy. Also, we all greatly appreciate your correct grammar and spelling. This is something I would have paid to read. I hope that if you're not already looking into a writing career, you start doing so. Please write more for us!

Lulu

It was one of the best stories I have read on this site. Very good. I would love to here more stories from you.

Very well written and super hot. Thanks for sharing! I'll be keeping my eye out for your next story.

This is honestly perfect, but my nitpicky grammar nazi mind is bothered by the incorrect use of the word "ambiguous". The correct word to use would be "specific".

I'm sorry. I love this, I really do. My brain just couldn't let go of that one bit.

Haha, I can see where that would be confusing. She meant it sarcastically, because he was being kinda vague and douchey right there. She was asking if he would like to take the opportunity to make his answer any more broad and incomprehensible, if possible.

But thank you for clearing that up for us, author :)

For a first attempt, this was pretty spectacular. Love the Pagan theme of it, and love the writing style. Definitely looking forward to reading more from you. I absolutely second the other commenter who said that this is one of the best things they've read on this site so far. I'd have to agree with that. Not much on here is as well-written as this. :)

-- H.

Your writing style drew me right into your story and characters. Very sexy in a slow smoldering way. Write some more.

Fenrir, World Serpant, Hel

I like it should make sequel good first one. You write well, smooth story, good characters.

This is incredible. And the mythology being correct? Very little I would change in it. Good job!

It's sexy and romantic, the characterization is incredible and the sex is mind blowing. More please !!

Amazing! More please! I knew I wasn't the only one who wants to make Loki grin. Mmmmmm. Sexy, hot, smoldering... And beautifully written. I was at the end before I knew it. And please, start writing novels.

More please! This was absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to devour more of your writing. And the story! There's so much potential...just...wow.

yeah, that worked... no problem hearing TWH's voice. excellent start! keep it up! xo yer fellow hiddlestoner

Totally read this in Tom's voice (and had Tom in mind). It was really well written and really hot. My only complaint is that it took so long to get to the sex, the build up could have been shortened a bit. It was worth it though.

I hope you write more (Loki or other)

Great job. You're a great writer. Keep it up. Romantic and hot just the way I like it! Always had my fantasies to be taken by a hot God. Yum!

I was really nervous when I started reading this because I'm a huge Loki fangirl and wasn't sure it would live up to my ever-high hopes, but it did. Oh god it did. 10/10, week read again.

Unfortunately, my computer decided to stage a rebellion against me and now most of my material is lost. I'm attempting to put the pieces back on the second part of this story, but I'm a little grumpy about it. I'm so glad you guys like it, I'm glad fans of Loki approve of the character. I did a lot of research. It was soooo hard (that's what she said).

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It was both fun and sexy at the same time. I'm hoping there will be more?

I thought of tom hiddleston the entire time. it was hot.

I've read many stories before but never one like this. Completely blown away and astounded. I loved it so so much, for me it was just perfect. I am waiting anxiously for a sequel. All the best to you and I hope you continue writing as I can't wait to read more.

Great story and I loved the tension and build up. You have a wonderful way of setting a scene and describing the emotional state throughout.

One criticism only meant to improve your writing. A common error I have seen with authors that lack confidence is the unnecessary and overuse of elaborate words. You have a rich and mature vocabulary and for the most part your sentences flow organically. However using words like Cur, Wended, Verdurous, Puckish, Recalcitrant, Epicurean and Discommodious is pretentious and distracting to the reader. They place a break in the reading as the reader either jumps over and tries to infer the meaning based upon context, stop to look it up or ignores it all together. I completely understand differences in spelling or word usage based on the authors’ country of origin but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. It’s telling that the majority occur in the last third of the story. This shouts insecurity.

You are a fantastic writer and please know I’m only making an observation and offering suggestions toward your growth as an author. I hope the positive responses boost you confidence.

I truly enjoyed this story!!! You are a great writer and for a first time out you have done wonderful!!! I thought of Mr. Hiddleston when I read your story and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!!!

That was absolutely delicious! Please write more!

Ohmygod! You did an amazing job!! Please, please, please tell me you're going to write more stories?!? I can't wait for more!!!!

Everyone has already said it all. Please write more.

This is one of the best stories I have read. It blew my mind.

More please!

You know your story's good when it makes other people want to write, and that's exactly what this knuckle biting piece of ye-gods-I-have-to-read-it-again erotica did. I've been reading this site for years and this was so perfect and hot it made me finally get off my arse and get cracking on a story of my own.

When I first started reading and realized it was *that* Loki, I thought, 'Oh, here we go! This is going to be super corny...' And then I discovered that it was one of the hottest damn things I've ever read. Now I'm probably biased because you wrote exactly the kind of male character that pushes all of my buttons: he's powerful, dominant, pale. He has scars and a hot voice. SOLD! But still...damn.

Great job again on your first submission! Frikkin' rock star! Hope you keep writing!

I won't lie I had to finger myself while reading this.

You have such a lovely way with words, can't wait to read more of your stuff

Honestly I was shaking after this, it's so good! When you say it's your first time doing this do you mean it's your first submitted story? You write so well I'd find it hard to believe this is your first go at writing a story. I'm hoping for another chapter ;-)

Must. Write. More.

I love the way they verbally sparred throughout the story. They played and were involved in every part of each other, and that was impressive to me. And the sex! You didn't rush and you took your time, and it was more beautiful than many stories I've read. You should be proud of this, I know I'm proud of the orgasm it gave me!

There wasn't a moment that I didn't enjoy in this story.

You write well and your timing is perfect.

I'm just angry that you haven't graced Literotica with more.

Let me know if you have any more goods stashed some place else.

I'll be waiting with great impatience.

x

It appears that many of you would like a sequel. This is something that I would be happy to oblige. But I'm currently working on two other stories, one which is getting closer to submission by the day, and will probably have to be submitted in pieces due to the sheer size of it. The other is in it's infancy, but is growing at an alarming rate. I do have hints of some little tidbits that may lead to a sequel in the future, but if it comes out to be anything less than what you lovely people deserve, I won't post it. Long story short, Loki and I are sort of locking horns right now (pun intended). But I will post my newest story, also a non-con (a bit more violent, this one), as soon as it's as beautiful as I can make it. Thank you all so very much for your support and feedback, I honestly can't put into words how much it encourages me to write, especially when the words dry up. I'll try my hardest to bring you something shiny and new to play with as soon as possible. Cheers!

You write so very well, and you tell an incredibly hot story. I love the violence and the domination. The imagery you used, the sparring and the fighting, it was excellent. I am excited for your next story, especially since it might be slightly more rough. I loved how I was able to put myself in her place, and how I could envision the characters. Fantastic.

I absolutely love how you make him speak. I'm going to try my hand at a Loki fiction soon and I'll try and do as good as you did there. Kudos !

I am a bookworm to say the least and enjoy reading literotica once in a while. I enjoyed the writing, the descriptions, the eroticism without extreme vulgarity. I stopped reading 50 Shades of Gray not even halfway through the book because I found the writing quality so cheap. Your story was beautiful and keep writing whether it be erotic stories or not which I am convinced you could also master. Good luck in your future endeavours!

You writing is exquisite. You are a modern Emile Bronte! Consider the success of Vampire stuff which is not nearly as well written, I would suggest charting out a book or books. Can a mortal soothe the wounded soul of the Norse God of Mischief? Its a fantastic concept and one that would allow you to write the life and times of Asgard, the world and its intrigue from Loki's and a woman's point of view. He embodies all of the feelings and frailties of those who can't seem to fit in, and are not sure of how to act when the rules are used to hurt them. While she is a Goth combination of Eve (Innocence), Aphrodite (The immortality of sex and fertility) and Athena (Amazon warrior & Riply's feminine toughness - Aliens). I know it would be marvelous, as you have with this short story, demonstrated mastery and wisdom far beyond your years. Like the wager made in Shakespeare in Love between Will and Queen Elizabeth, a simple play has taught this person of 50+ yeas something about love, life and the nature of being human. Bravo and encore!

This story is distinguished (for me) by being the only story on Lit I've ever commented on twice, and I suspect the only one I've read several times. My first comment was back in February and I said that you encouraged me to write, myself, and now here I am again.I was poking around on your profile to see if you'd put up anything else, or an update, and even though there was no news, this story sucked me in again, and it was just as delicious as it was the first time. And honestly, after a re-read, I can see the influence of this story splashed plainly over some of my own work. And I mean that as a compliment. I read it and thought, "Yes! This is what a piece of erotica should be." There's our Loki: cocky, sexy, and just a hair vulnerable. What a package! As other people have commented, the dialogue was smooth as silk, and the narrative has just the right mix of fear, sensuality and wit. Sigh.

Please come back to us, firefaery! Even if you've got writer's block so bad you could build a pyramid and have stone left over; pop in and tell us you're alive and well, and Lit hasn't put you off writing for good. :D Eager fangirls/boys are standing by!

<3 Eris (DeathAndTaxes) xxoo

A goddess of the word has shown us how to write a story.

If you have not considered writing a novel, based on this exact story line, then you really need to get off of your ass. I don't mean that in a ride way. You have a writing style that will put fifty shades of grey into the category of divergent to your hunger games. Bravo and seriously consider making this a novel.

Please write more.

You write beautifully...never stop.

That was so well written and exceptionally sexy! Thank you :)

That was amazing and incredibly hot. Thank you!

I so loved this! Please add another chapter....;)

Because of your story, I watched both Thor movies and the Avengers. You captured the essence of Loki very well. I am totally a Tom Hiddleston fan-girl now. :)

I loved this story! Definitely write another chapter!

Wonderful story. Round it out with just a little more plot and you could easily publish on Amazon. Don't stop writing!

Amazing story. It is defiantly one of the best I have read in a while. Please add another chapter or turn this into a series.

This is a very well written piece. There are very few mistakes and your writing is awesome. The story idea is awesome. The characters are awesome. Everything is awesome. You develop your characters and the story so beautifully, I loved it. Nothing seemed forced or unnatural, which is something I often find in stories in this category. I could totally see this happening as it happened. If, you know, Norse gods were real and stuff.

-Kim

Do you write fanfic at all? your writing is amazing.

I came Sooooo hard

said it all. It's perfection. Enuff said.

If this is your first attempt I can't imagine how blessed we'll all be when you are a "seasoned" writer. I simply can't fathom how this could be your first attempt at a submission as I was spellbound from beginning to end and judging by the comments I am not alone in thinking this. Keep writing young one for you have an amazing potential. You are genuine and fascinating when your nimble mind weaves your stories they are compelling to all of us readers. I sense a caliber of writing not many can impart and you did it so adeptly it seemed as though you'd been writing your entire life. I hope you continue to inspire us all and wish you a long and smashing career writing sexy, fun and intriguing tales for your fans. Kudos!

But I've been left breathless

That was so good. I long for the next part. I could feel the desire and Love through your words! You have amazing writing skills :)

I love your writing.

I would proffer that you are one of the very best writers on this site. Your story is amazing! Thank you for sharing it...

You're a very good writer.

Probably the best short story on here.

Wonderfully written. Keep writing! You have a gift.

Amazing and so well written! Keep writing!

Lovely use of words, just lovely. I so enjoyed the pain element that is usually skirted so much in these stories. It's always just teasing, and this story pushed it past the cheesy fake teasing. The girl actually wanted pain, and could take it. Thank you for this. Very well done.

This is literally so so good. I absolitly love when Loki is portrayed as the dark micheivious god he is. Fuck i screamed so many times reading this your use of poetic wording is bloody brilliant.

This is still absolutely the best story on this site!!! Just amazingly good. :--) You once implied you posted your work elsewhere? If you have, could post the links? Thanks.

can you do Y/N version of this story omg

I come back here every few years to reread this story. It is still one of the best (if not THE best) short stories on this site, if not all writer's sites. Truly an amazing work!

Every time I read this, I have to bite a pillow so I don’t wake the dead. I am a masochist and seeing a story where that is actually happening and enjoyed is so nice. I also love to bite, and seeing that also does nice things to the throbbing bits. My partners never get like this, and I really wish they would. Beautifully written and explosive!

So glad I found this story again. Even better than I remembered. Thank you!

I don’t understand how you could possibly think someone could possibly find any fault with this story. It is absolutely, beautifully, erotically wonderful. Thank you for sharing. Now to read your second story.

Holy shit.