Jane Finds her Spark

1*

another

winner where do they come from does every sicko in the world have to write.

Just to offset thew asswipe Annony. Igave you a 5

If we all did that ass wipe Annony., won't matter. OH wait he doesn't matter regardless.

The Asswipe is calling himself an Asswipe.

Dumb Fuck.

1*

re: Just to offset thew asswipe Annony.

You do realize YOU'RE also Annony?

Right. That person commented on the story. YOU trashed their right to have a different opinion, did not mention one good thing about the story, and THEY'RE the ass wipe? Ya want an example of someone who doesn't matter? Look in a fucking mirror, asshole.

Bad everything.

Bad plot, bad setting, bad grammar, bad writing and a whole lot of bad ideas about what anyone with any sense would want to read. Don't give up your day job.

Edit, edit, edit

In the FIRST TWO sentences, we find an impossibility AND terrible grammar errors.

How do you 'sat up' with your Hubby AFTER you 'had just FELL asleep after FINISHED having sex'???

It does NOT get any better after that! In my unofficial definition of a Loving Wife tale, it just BARELY qualifies...Sweetie IS married, and we kinda meet Hubby, but her (very simple) First Cheat scenario is poor, and Hubby's only 'role' is to 'not be there.' Despite the report that she was not trying to 'make anything happen' her actions are exactly the opposite (and -surprise- something happens!) BUT, the only effect on Hubby is a week or so of 'assuage guilty conscience' sex from Sweetie.

Essentially, there is marginal eroticism added by Hubby's existence in this tale. It would work ALMOST as well if told as a story where a bachelorette gets it on with a co-worker, OR even a bar pick-up! (Nonetheless, no matter how she is 'escorted' this is a weak story!)

BTW, the ending is also stupid ... the Bull, who works with her and loved having all-night hot-sex with Delicious Sweetie, would have had set up several more 'sleep-overs' with the 'Very Stuffed and Sated Sweetie' long before her 'make-up' sex with Hubby had cooled off!

There are books and affordable classes on English grammar; also editors.

Try one or the other or both. I couldn't get past the first two sentences. I was afraid my dick would fell off.

Contest!

Can anyone find a story on the site more pointless and a bigger waste of time than this submission?
I guess the proposed contest might be more pointless. Entering the contest might be a bigger waste of time.
Let's forget it and the story.

This was fucking lame.

It was boring to read. I could imagine the teacher from "Ferris Buller" reading this I'm the same monotone voice and even he would be bored to tears.

There was no emotional connection, no sense of who she was or why she could rationlize cheating without even the slightest guilt. Iran, if she was that dissatisfied with Steve and she had no real feelings for him...leave him before they get married.

Not very well written

About the best thing I can say about this story is "thanks for taking the time and making the effort". Unfortunately it is poorly written with numerous errors and choppy sentences.

Jumped to end

I jumped, after the first two paragraphs, to the end. Why, to be able to leave a comment. Sorry but I could not read it any further. Choppy, disjointed, poor sentence structure. It would be a good idea to ask someone to read it before submitting.
For example:
"She enjoyed the feeling. She said leaning against him, making no attempt to recover any lost space. " She said leaning against him - what did she say? Oh, you meant: "She stayed leaning against him,..."

This is something a editor or even good friend would catch. Simple mistakes which make the story very hard to follow and read.

Best of luck and with a few improvements it should get better.

so, which was it?

did her guilt only allow her the one time with Mike? Or was it that once she had the established outlet, the increased guilt sex with Steve helped her to justify continuing on with Mike as well? As long as Steve doesn't know right? But if she is fucking both on the same day, and Steve had her once faithful pussy rights exclusively for at least 5 years, wouldn't he be able to tell the difference? Hey, I don't care which way you wanted to go here, I just want to point out that it was unclear. Frankly, the little blurb you presented made it seem like just one time was enough, and she would remain happy with Steve now that she had something to fuel the fantasies. Problem is, that she WILL do it again, and find another big cock eventually. With her ease of seeking out the seduction opportunities with Mike, it also seemed JUST as likely that she would happily continue on immediately with him, hoping that Steve will remain clueless. So which was it? What story were you trying to tell, with as few words as possible?

I wonder if Steve had suspicions she was fucking someone else

First off with her increased sex drive should have sent him a message that something was going on, and feeling her pussy stretched out a bit would have been another thing to think about.

She probably fucked Mike every chance she got, and enjoyed fucking two men, knowing she was cheating on Steve, and him not having a clue, was probably a turn on and made sex with Steve even better.

Thanks for the good read.

Hard to read

Didn't have a problem with the idea of the story but the execution was a turn off. You need to get an editor to help you fix basic errors and get some more emotion into it.

Not worth a comment.

Sorry about your little dick, thunderthighs.

I agree with DigDaddy's comments. This story upset me. She cuckolds her husband and will obviously return the "big guy" whenever she has the urge.. No resolution, in fact when you come right down to it......no end in sight, just repetition. Ugh.

I'd love to see a story like this streatched out and paced more slowly to build anticipation and flesh out characters more.