A Caring Sister

Great story, keep it going.

Sweet

Nice story

Good!

I don't know what that guy is looking for that commented saying that it was a bad story... If you want sex stories with good grammar mate, go and get 50 Shades of Grey... Maybe then, you'll get your unrealistic standards met..

On another note, I find this story great! It was short, but detailed and it wasn't like all shorter stories where it goes straight to the sex. It still has a story behind it. I am a fan of yours! Keep it up :)

quick

It would have been quicker reading if I didn't sit wondering who Samantha was.

The previous comment was harsh

Not bad. I enjoyed it. The story was short but nice.

Write a master list of characters.

Cute but no substance. Very confusing in the beginning. Three girls were mentioned at one time or another:Sally, Sammantha and Claire. I started the story pretty sure his sister's name was Sally, then she became Sammantha whom I thought was Tony"s girl friend. Then you referred to the girlfriend as Claire. You need to proof read much more carefully or find someone else to do it. Nice premise to the story but minimal character development and no slow build up to the EVENT. Is this a one and off, or is a relationship going to develop? You left your readers Hanging in the wind. Don't give up but more attention to detail, and slower development to the event with more in depth character development. Two stars for the attempt.

Not bad

It had a nice base, and I feel that it could have been a longer story or a story with another chapter. The only problems I saw were, like they said, the unused character, and the fact it ended as abruptly as it did. Maybe a little more detail would help a bit? I give it 4 stars in total.

Cloths?

Sorry, got as far as, "...she was trying to wash her cloths..." and gave up.

"Cloths" are things you clean your car with, whereas "clothes" are what I believe she was attempting to wash.

Fail.

Wow

Loved it, there is nothing like the feeling of my brother's warm seed filling me deep ;)

"Quick treat" while you finish "other stories"?

Is this a threat? Horrible story, horrible writing, horrible (lack of) editing. Please, please, please, don't submit anything else.

Needs a caring author

So-so, I can't see trashing you as I suspect most of the people who do so have never submitted anything themselves. Still, this came across like a quick push to satisfy someone ... who, I don't know.

This story had potential, but it did need a few rewrites before it was ready for release. Sally's seduction of Tony was too stiff almost like she was robotic and following some sort of formula. Also, there was too much Sally, Sally, Sally and Tony, Tony, Tony. At some point you can expect readers to know when there's only two characters that you don't have to constantly remind them you're talking about Tony's cock or Sally's big tits.

Good god, don't listen to 'anonymous'

I don't know why they decided to come down on you so hard but don't listen to them.
You are not terrible and this story had promise: the seduction was a little stiff but the rest was great. Please do write some more

I think it could use some work. And submitting work is not a prerequisite to leave comments.

Aside from editing i thought it was good. Keep writing.

Love it!

You are amazing! Normally I don't read 1 page stuff, but yours looked promising. It was better than I expected. The perfect mix of story and sex. Keep writing.

IF YOU CONTINUE TO WRITE

then you have to listen to the complaints and ignore the rave reviews. listening to the complaints is the ONLY way you will ever improve, that and using a GOOD EDITOR. if you listen to the fake raves you will keep pumping out garbage and keep getting bad comments. IF you are smart you will delete both stories and REWRITE them using a GOOD EDITOR. this reads like a ten year old drop out wrote it.

Good story

Do not listen to idiots like Anonymous (1/17/14). He's an asshole. The story is good. I love stories where the main characters do not just fuck, but where there is love, romance involved. The sister ended up making love to her brother because she concerned about him, even though she thought it would be raw, blatant sex to begin with. Keep up the good work and do not get discouraged. However, you may want to consider having a proof reader/editor go over your work prior to submitting it.

Cure little story of forbidden love. I liked it.

mataku

Makes me wish I had a sister

I loved it! It was positively inspirational for me to write my own erotic stories. You have a hidden talent for this kinda thing.

Swiggity Swoggity I would of came in that booty

Good stuff

I thought it was a pretty erotic story. I enjoyed it very much. A couple rough edges but still really good.

romance is good

there is a place for rough sex but nothing replaces sweet warm careing caresses and love wherever you find it