I hope Frank gives her a black eye on his way out. Your dialogue needs a lot of work. And the story line is repetitive, unimaginative and not very interesting. Mostly pretty silly.
by
Anonymous11/03/13
Gave it a deserved 1*
Are you kidding me? "Stir hot coffee with his penis", I think Frank should beat Linda to a bloody pulp when they get home and lock her under the stairs. Horrible.
English
Epically bad.
I hope Frank gives her a black eye on his way out. Your dialogue needs a lot of work. And the story line is repetitive, unimaginative and not very interesting. Mostly pretty silly.
Gave it a deserved 1*
Are you kidding me? "Stir hot coffee with his penis", I think Frank should beat Linda to a bloody pulp when they get home and lock her under the stairs. Horrible.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Enslaved by Marilyn Ch. 06 or
More submissions by Philnominal.