by ravaged_wench
Great start but I felt the ending to be too abrupt and did allow the story to develop sufficiently.
But as the previous comment said, a little abrupt. Hope to read more from you as you set it up well.
Excellent beginning of feeling intensity. So important to really show how we exhibitionistic types start to lose control...in some situations.. but yes, please take your time, write more... build it up.. anticipation... after all, I barely started touching!