Like Abe Lincoln said about speeches being like skirts: long enough to cover the material, but short enough to be interesting.
Do I get to be the first to comment on this story? Lucky me. I enjoyed it. It has an interesting twist on the revenge-seeking-wife story. It is vastly better than the tie-the-guy-to-the-bed stories.
This was a terrific little tale. I get tired of the; came home early, saw them in my bed, bought a lot of electronic shit, planned a big revenge, blah, blah, blah...
.... not much. How is it the guy always falls with his bum in the butter?
Despite The Arsenal going down to Chelsea - we are now 5 points ahead of the league - and in first place !!!
Liked your story (and your other ones) it's a bit 'telling' that your so called mates fuck you over like that,eh ?
Hopefully the young Driscoll girl will prove to be better than the lying pondlife Gwen..
(Good Irish name there..)
Let's hope that you continue to write more stories - and that Mesut & Ramsay do the business,covering for an useless Bendtner and Walcott !! :-))
Comedy and humor in this usually downbeat genre is not for the timorous of soul. The jokes started strong, things started to take a dive but voila ! Big comeback because Britease doesn't quit.
I thought the characters of traitorous partners could have been developed more, especially Mike. Iago that villain up just a bit. The isolated scenes with conniving wife & narrator's befuddled internal dialogue were outstanding. Britease really has a master's touch with those conflagulating confrontations.
I'm giving full marks, despite the aforementioned hiccups. The well struck endgame and my suppressed snorts sparked from ' we have to talk ' power plays just could not be denied.
all the work to create them. Poof. TK U MLJ LV NV
An excellent pre-supper yarn. Food for thought. Stretching credibility to the most fractious of offside decisions it just held the line in my opinion...
The man's on fire. 5*
Very enjoyable story. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the offering.
5 stars. It was stories like this that got me hooked on LW. Interesting premise, love gone bad, betrayal, discovery, revenge, moving on to a brighter future. Snappy pace and good dialogue. Thanks!
All I got out of the story is that all of them are idiots.
Mary obviously doesn't know less is more. With the way she was dressed, guys are going to treat her as she present herself...like she is employed on the local corner waiting on her Johns. I'm guessing she is a pretty girl so walking around in public with her tits and ass hanging out is so trashy.
The logistics, as written, are not propitious, because of the way the 'evening out' from fishing, plus the strange women ... BUT ... with a little pencil maneuvering, BritEase could have had the precipitating tryst be a set-up by a couple of the male and female mates (including Sweetie) to which Sweetie could react, because she helped Hubby feel guilty!
Excellent nonetheless, even though my thirst for conspiracy theories was not quenched!
I would have liked it more if the chap had been a bit less feckless. Gulping, coughing, blushing, stammering. What happened to the stiff upper lip?
I have little hope that his future is going to be merry with Little Miss Display as his new paramour. And he dare not quit with daddy holding the purse strings.
a well written story and an enjoyable read.
I enjoyed reading your story.
A little far fetched but it was a good read. Basically a bunch of cheating assholes with the most chaste of the crowd getting together in the end. Bottom line, however, is that revenge fucks don't save a marriage.
Good story line and a good read
I don't comment very often but I really liked this story. Had a good story line and kept my interest. I could think of a number of ways this story could have gone. Of course every author has a right to their opinion. Story gives me ideas, haha.
Again a good read.
It all comes across as perfectly possible, even if improbable, which is the way these stories ought to be.
Cantbymy,------- This one sat there for a couple of weeks at least before it was published. Maybe they're all on holiday over there.
I was about to jump ship thinking it was yet another case of wife punishing husband. but the setting and dialogue held my attention, and when the full story came out it was worth it.
Good job. Loved it as with your usual stuff.
Excellent twist on BTB theme. Fun to read and the quasi-good guy wins out in the end.
Face it they were both cheating low life's. Why Gwen didn't just fuck Mike and gotten her revenge fuck(s) on the sly is a bit obscure, but definitely wouldn't have been nearly as much fun to read.
First, with the huge Halloween story contest, they have been backlogged. It took more than a week for my story to show.
HOWEVER...that is not the reason your story has not posted. You are writing an continuation of another author's work and he has NOT given you permission to do so.
I have played in other kid's sandboxes. I always sought permission first. And if I cheat and try to stick an epilogue in the comment section, I do it with the understanding that I am violating their rights and that they are fully justified in cutting my remarks.
Pissing off the author in the comments is a great example of how NOT to get permission.
And writing amped up, revenge driven continuation stories for authors who have more...reflective sensibilities is something else which will make it less likely to get permission. Suzy Derkins RARELY lets Calvin in her sandbox because she KNOWS how Calvin is.
I gave 5*****. However I like story ends with babies..............from the new wives.
between legal and moral and many mates are involved, TK U MLJ LV NV
Actually, I thought the exhibitionist parts of the tale were more interesting than the LW sections... and so, "it's in the wrong category"...
(playing the lead as a goober is a classic technique - see Candide. Does suggest that this might be a satire....)
I got to say that I really enjoyed reading this story. what I liked the most was the fact that Dave's wife Gwen got of better than she would have if I had been Dave. but all in all the story surely rated a 5 from me . Damn good job writing this story.
there was just enough depth to give faces to everyone, and not too much to get confused. I'm not sure how I like the ending, a bit of mixed emotions I guess. I usually prefer a couple to get back together if possible, usually the amount of time married lends itself that way. the story was nicely done.
and now its off to find enemies. TK U MLJ LV NV
Yeh it's Dave
Daves not here.
No it's me Dave, I'm Dave.
Yeh it's me, Dave.
Daves not here man
copywriter Cheech & Chong. Big Bamboo
You really seem to have trouble with names this time it's Mike and Dave that got changed around on page 3.
Considering how little time you must spend on proofreading to get such an obvious thing as a character's name wrong, it's surprising that there are so few other msitakes
like this guy's style.He does need to be sure about names getting muddled though.
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