I thought this was well written, and although I find myself unable to determine a real story or point, I found it entertaining, especially the early scene in the car when laura plays with emily under her sundress (btw love the name emily). Could've had a more gripping intro but all together I commend you, keep it coming!
English
good
I thought this was well written, and although I find myself unable to determine a real story or point, I found it entertaining, especially the early scene in the car when laura plays with emily under her sundress (btw love the name emily). Could've had a more gripping intro but all together I commend you, keep it coming!
Not bad
I found it hard to keep tract of who was doing what too whom. Too much activity in a kind of jumble.
Keep trying.
Thanks!
Useful comments, and I appreciate the time you took to read the story and make them.
K
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