So long

Beautiful

Really lovely poem

agree with clearday

only one little quibble, was the ing ending sound running in two verses, I think with a little more curing you could have had a fourth running sound, it is still amazing to be sure, and is a solid write thank you for sharing it.

also if you read just the end lines from bottom to top you have a tell all of what this poem is about :-p

Beautiful poem! The rhythm of the words is hypnotic.

Lesse : beyootiful & thnx for sharin' : Tod to deal with tge quibble it could be

Arrested
Jested
Protested !!
5-ed

Tod, I'm not sold on the quartet rhymes... They feel a little forced to me. I played with it some but in the end stayed with it because I liked the meaning over the flow... Not always the choice I make. I definitely feel this piece could be tightened.

Like a song?

It reads like a song to me - maybe a quiet, private song, half hummed, half whispered to oneself and repeated. Very nice

meaning

beats flow hands down!!!

Nice rhythm

I like the flow and feeling in this one. Thanks for sharing your work!