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English
Ahhh a muse
Has arrived, brought your poetry to life, this is outstanding Harry
Implores a pearl to become a sun & when dawn breaks @ last
I can take it no more & sink into your day .......
Killer lines , Harry & welcome baaaack !!!
this is simply
beautiful. There are a couple of places you might delete a word or two which would make your internal rhyme a bit neater. ( I didn't count the words but I am guessing there are 99)
a lovely poem for a beautiful day ! enjoyed the read immensely. Definitely worth a five.
~ NJ
breathtaking
all of it, the fluidity, sound-links that tie it together throughout, simply stated imagery, a building of quiet tension/passion - but the pinnacle resides in those final lines:
implores a pearl to become a sun and when dawn breaks at last.
I can take no more and sink into your day.
it doesn't get any better than that, harry. omg x
Agree - this is excellent!
enjoyed the whole journey, but the final lines were, well - sheer poetry.
Thanks all, I got a feed back from tazz I think, has his sig. posting below
IN RE YOUR "WORDS POEM" THE TVE HAD ON A PERV WHO TOOK ADV ANTAGE OF PASSED OUT LADIES. ASSUMING THE CONSENUAL OKness OF THIS ACT THE POEM IN ITSELF HAD CONNOTATIONS AND ENTENDRES, OVERALL IT WAS GOOD. I CHOSE NOT TO PUT THESE INTO THE REALM OF OPENESS FOR ALL. RESPECTFULLY TK U MLJ LV NV
..
The two people in this poem are lovers, one is awake the other merely asleep, apologies if anyone thought this was non consensual, would make a good point to put in a pre-nuptial, 'both parties agree to free use of their bodies while asleep.' idk
mmm mmm mmm
Love it.
looks like a grade B+
porn poppy (nether lips, etc.)
this line:
implores a pearl to become a sun and when dawn breaks at last.
is surely a line to run with
if fact some of the things you do come up with would make me jealous....
...if i was a writer
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