Welcome new author. Kudos for putting yourself and your story out there. You have good basic story telling skills and more writing always improves any author. I would suggest breaking up your paragraph length. Large text blocks tend to dampen pleasure reading.
I am not a fan of cheating situations, so I don't know if I will continue with the story. I do wish you well in your writing.
English
Peurile
Gave it a -1*
Welcome new author. Kudos for putting yourself and your story out there. You have good basic story telling skills and more writing always improves any author. I would suggest breaking up your paragraph length. Large text blocks tend to dampen pleasure reading.
I am not a fan of cheating situations, so I don't know if I will continue with the story. I do wish you well in your writing.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Loving Master's Pearls or
More submissions by DragonflyMistress.