All Comments on 'F3 For Her'

I just have to know WhoTheF you are. This writing is over the top. I'm beginning to wonder if your not Rowling, or Patterson, or KUF (my secret).

When is this damn thing over?

The EAGLE...gives it...two Talons up..." "

I wanted to get into this because the plot seemed fresh and detailed, but then it seemed mostly surface as I was reading it. I thought the connection to the image was going to be good but then it turned out just to have been pasted onto the front of the story. The sex was hot. The writing was good, but it didn't really grip me. It always seemed to be floating along the surface with me observing rather than being involved in it. Nothing really dramatic when drama would seem to be natural to the setup.

Good writing for a somewhat dry tale. I thought I was getting more, more about why she abruptly left, why he wasn't more forthright. His long-term lover leaves, with no reason given, and he doesn't do anything. For someone who was terribly unhappy, who left without explanation, and recruited her family to keep him away, she had a very quick turnaround.

The dialogue was good, but I would have liked to heard more of it between the two of them, to understand the key issues. It was glossed over. The scene where they get back together, and he hugs her, while they both say they were wrong was too quick of a turnaround.

I thought the picture elements were almost an afterthought. It's a story about Antarctica, not the tropics. I thought it strange that the stated tags at the beginning didn't match the story tags at all. There were none in common except FAWC.

I liked their reconciliation, and the proposal was a fun scene. The surprise wedding was a nice touch, if a little predictable.

It was a good story, but without the connection, the drama, romantic tension, and the reason for the initial problems, it fell short of great.

This story got off to a great start. You had the concept picture there, even with a swimming woman and sitting man. The scene felt very real and was enthralling, especially as it ended with some pretty steamy sex. And I liked where the plot was going. The whole "got it all but haunted by that one woman" thing had some strong appeal.

From there, I sort of got lost along the way. It was just a huge leap for me to suddenly believe Lilly was in the Antarctic on a ship and he was ...flying? ... with choppers in tow. This was an area where my head was spinning to figure out who was what was where. That sort of thing could have worked if it was a race to save her kind of thing, but it left me a bit bewildered.

Now I did like the locale switch. I thought it was bold to use the picture as an opening piece, something he had built for her which was the thing that drove her away. I love that theme for some reason. Then when Lilly winds up in a cold frigid location, the total opposite, I kind of saw a certain symbolism in that. Almost like a change in Asher from trying to give her what he thought she wanted (that beach scene) to discovering she's a deeper kind of gal (out amongst the rest of the icebergs). I don't know if that was intentional, but it happened that way for me. Nice job with that, and I still think, Antarctic or not, that the picture was used well enough, even if it served as the opener.

There were some grammatical issues and oddly phrased sentences, both in the body and dialogue, that sorta jumped out at me. They weren't enough to spoil the reading, but they were noticeable.

Your sex scenes were hit and miss with me. I loved them because you took the time to really get down and dirty, which I like. I like to almost "be there watching" and you had me there with them. Yet at times, it did feel like a bit more emotion could be put into them. Sometimes you were telling us what was happening, which was hot, but not showing us how they felt. A little shudder here or a gasping breath there or even a bit more insight on what they were feeling inside as this piece went there would have helped. But they were still good and hot.

Overall it was a good entry with a very noble heart. I liked the concept, the bait and switch utilization of the pic, and the themes used to bring the characters back to each other. Those emotions could have been explored with a bit more tension, but it still made for a good read. Great job and best wishes for the contest.

Gosh, I can't believe it took me so long to read this story. Shorter in length than other xelliebabex's stories, 'For Her' was a nice change and a convenient option when I didn't have much time.

Don't let the story length fool you. The characters and dialogue made this more than an ordinary story about a wealthy bachelor trying to win back his true love.

There were some typos but I always lose myself in a great story.