by Slirpuff
Well written and a good way for redemption of a damaged soul. Good to read one of your stories again. Thanks.
This makes me glad that my wife was here for me when I lost my grandmother earlier this year. I read the last line with, and I have no shame in admitting this, tears in my eyes.
5 Stars. Glad you did something completely different this time, Slirpuff.
Some of the LW make one feel little hope. A broken heart and disappointment are the usual result. Sometimes the hardest healing is mental. Liked this one because there was no hate, revenge or disrespect. It is a sad fact that sometimes one must endure unhappiness to heal a broken heart or life. Good that this man could find something to make him feel better about himself.
It's bloody outstanding by comparison with much of the drivel that gets published here at Literotica.
My only quibble is that it may be miscategorized.
But that's no reason not to give it five stars.
All in all, this writing seems to be serving as catharsis for whatever travails this undeniably talented author is currently going through, as opposed to being a complete story. It's proof of life from one of Loving Wives top ten scribes who appears to be distracted.
As a Slirpuff fan who has quintuple starred his stories well into double digit figures, this was a disappointment. Cliche no.1 : both parents dying in auto accident leaving sister & brother alone in the world.
Check " You Can Count on Me " for most creative riff on this shop-worn plot device, at least you'll get to admire Laura Linney in her prime. The ovarian cancer has been used before in " A Little Bit of Death". The foundering marriage was relegated to sliver of a subplot status. Is there a reason why this angst-infested chestnut doesn't belong in non-erotic ?
No one looks forward more then myself for Slirpuff's return to form. *** & a sincere wish for better days for and from this author.
is enough to put this in "loving wives"? We both know that this is where your audience is, but this story should have been classified as non-erotic, at best. I, and others, want to rail on authors who put stories in the wrong category, like if it should have been fetish, or interracial. I must admit, that becomes a much easier frustration to vent when the writing is putrid, stale, and unentertaining. YOU, sir, are a great author, one of the best here. And this story is no exception. It is touching, and damn near a tear-jerker. It is actually really fine work. But does that excuse the sin of miss-classifying a story? Do the popular authors get to get away with it, because people WANT to read their stuff? My point is that even under the mechanics of this site, when someone opens your story page, they WILL find your stories and will want to read them, even if they don't normally troll in that category. Have faith that your fans will find you. But I would think that even you agree, when an unsuspecting reader opens a story that misrepresented itself, the natural tendency is to lambaste the author, and demand that LW be split into different sub categories, and instead of constructive commenting, you get angry ranting. If you get railed for this story, that will be why. It will certainly not have anything to do with your talent, your ability as an fine storyteller, or that this was a finely crafted flash story filled with strong character development, and plenty of emotion. Still 5 stars, but next time pick the proper category.
This was definitely in the wrong category, but your writing is superb and for that you get 5* from me. You packed a lot of emotion into few words. Maybe you could do a retro...tell us why the marriage was on the rocks, then jump ahead and get them back together and helping the homeless. I know it sounds schmaltzy, but you could pull it off.
So what if it isn't quite a LW category story. We don't know why the wife divorced him but there was enough of a relationship "problem" to put this story here even if it might have been better put in non erotic. Not all LW stories have to have screwing, cheating divorce and revenge in them. I got the impression here that the Loving Wife was a factor or rather the sister's illness and the brother's care for her was a factor in the end of the marriage therefore, tenuously, this is a LW story. I agree with many of the other comments, this is a damn fine story and well worth reading. It is almost a tear jerker. Well done.
Why the hell did you have to write such an amazing and tender story? I'm bawling like a girl, you bastard! I was looking forward to dredging up a symphony of insults and flames insulting you, your lineage and your writing ability. I find myself thanking you for evoking an emotional response that wasn't based on derision, but in humility.
Thank you.
just finished reading an old story of yours. your writing have improved a lot.
she would have had a brother like you (my second wife, that is). After donating her melanoma ridden body to the Med School, her ashes seemed to ride the breeze into that field of bluebonnets, as if homeward bound by her request. Slurpy, you sure know how to push the recall buttons.
they MUST play if forward, no matter the price, TK U MLJ LV NV
It's a great tale, one of the best on here. I'd give it 5 more Stars if I could.
Great work, touching story. Should be in non erotic but then I wouldn't have read it and my life would be poorer for it.
Life, love and sharing...the elements of the coming season put in perspective, yet should be used throughout the year.
Thanks for it.
Rob
then read the rest of the crap posted on this day this was great and the rest was pure garbage.
Didn't care for it as there wasn't even a pretense of a story here. The gist of the plot was how fate shit on other people dear to him, god never puts such burdens on others, that we cannot bear them,) He was so gosh darn nice, others troubles made no difference in his demeanor, he was sooo wonderful, soo sweet, so saintly, selfless, meek and mild, so unworldly.
No wonder his wife left him. Who could live with such a bland guy with no drive, no personality?
Either it is you or someone close to you and if so, I'm sorry for your loss. It was beautiful and touching. An appropriate story for around the holidays. A story to ground us. A story that many can related to............or not. Like one commentator already mentioned, if it was in the Non-Erotic catagory, it would not have been as widely read as in LW.
Well worth the read by everyone. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us.
Brujay
Sad story. SP can write, though. Five stars for sure.
What a heartwarming tale. Makes you feel love and loss. Makes you cry, also.
Heck. Brings tears to the eyes and joy to the heart. Food for the soul.
Thank you.
Just one page and still so amazing. To hell with it being in the wrong section its a much needed breath of fresh air in the section that most needed it.
this was the best story I have ever read here :3
Very poignant. Probably should be in non-erotic category. Five stars.
A story worth reading. After having to pass by so many fetish stories disguised as loving wives I finally get to read something decent. But then coming from Slirpuff that shouldn't be a surprise. I may not like all your stories, but giving the choices lately, I'll take anything you put out as superior to what Cuckerotica has to offer in this genre. Thank you for a good read.
Great story as usual, I love to see you writing stories like you used to do so often. Hope to see you writing again soon . Thank you for all you've written.
5 *'s of course. I think Slirpuff is onto the final theme of the Loving Wives genre. What some are lucky to learn with age and experience is that the love we all are seeking is already with in us. It is an ember that God, our parents, whoever gave us. It is up to us to stoke it into a flame. The only way to do that is to care for other people. They do not have to be your family or your friends. You simply have to care, care is the breath that feeds the flame and keeps you warm. The more you care, the more warmth you will feel. Great, thank you!
Transcends LW, transcends Lit. But like others, I am glad it's here.
Your CHARACTER is a better human being than I will ever be. And I am sorry for that.
... as if you'd been there before. An awesome, short vignette and despite its length we feel as if we know Beth, we feel Steve's pain, we feel his resolve and his hope. Well done indeed. 5*
P.S. to sugna - read Slirpuff's "A Little Bit of Death". It's as good as this one. Really.
that the very best stories about Loving Wives should be about love, be it lost or found. The complaints that this doesn't fit in the genre are grating because this really is high quality by Literotica standards, as a short story. More importantly, on the fundamental levels it is about choosing a loving sister over a loving wife. That's a choice people shouldn't and shouldn't have to make; worse still, it's a choice his sister never asked or wanted him to make.
The only real weakness I see in this story is the lack of insight into the marriage. Clearly she wasn't some awful cheating hag (and good loving wives stories shouldn't need to be automatically about cheating) and there was a chance for reconciliation both before and after the loss of sister. It doesn't feel mysterious, it just feels like a hole in the story. Why did he feel the need to sacrifice one for the other rather than doing what his sister probably would have preferred - spending time with both of them?
Non-Erotic would have been a far better fit. Putting it in LW opens up unresolved plot threads of how this related to his ex.
The marriage was in trouble before Steve's sister got sick. "How can we work on our marriage if you're never around," was not what he wanted to hear at that point. Be it right or wrong, Steve felt that at that moment in his life, his sister needed him more than his wife. Some times people make choices they regret later, and in this case, in the end he tries again to resolve the issues between him and his ex-wife.
Again, the story is about how a person handles a devastating loss.
Steve
November 22nd, the day Kennedy was murdered, and a day older people like me are a little more reflective. If this had been posted in non-erotic nobody would have read it, and that would have been a shame. I'm a sap; at the end I would have wanted his wife at his doorstep with a suitcase ready to move back offering to help him through his grief. But I'm a sap.
This story gets a five; it was thoughtful, tender, well written, uplifting, and it didn't cost anything. Thanks.
Who cares what category it was in. It was beautiful writing and bloody brilliant. Thank you.
closure is very hard when you lose a loved one as I well know now! thanks!
It really belongs in another category. Maybe fewer people would read it, but I, and I suspect others, don't like being tricked into reading a story we would not ordinarily bother to read. Three stars for what might have been a higher score in another category.
As for the category,it is correct as any would be,it is about loss and possible redemption of the marriage.Was the marriage on the rocks because he could see only the bad stuff,and his sister dying opened him up to how much he has? who jnows but a great story,one of the best.
I appreciated this one very much. A simple story simply told, but with honesty and a hint of mystery, of a world of complexity surrounding the story as told. This time I was satisfied at the end and felt you'd made your point. And I cared about your character and wanted to know more - just as it should be.
A comment not a criticism: the story verges on the sentimental. Does this matter? The older I get the more I feel that there's little more to living a good life than something like 'be nicer to the people around you', or 'try to do one good turn every day.'. Sentimental, yes, but perhaps sentimentality has unfairly had a bad press.
that you portrayed Mandy as selfish. Beth and Steve have been close all their lives - as siblings should be. When Steve became aware of Beth's cancer and her need for assistance, it was not only good of Steve to do it, it was the right thing. Mandy showed an extremely selfish attitude and lack of love and concern for Steve by making him choose. If Mandy truly loved Steve, she would not only have been cooperative, suppotive, and understanding of his time away, she would have been helping any way she could. I think Steve would be better off finding someone other than Mandy...
Fine, excellent, a real tearjerker. Slirpuff makes a reader feel like we are right there
with the protagonist.lf SP is a published author I wished to know his name. I would
go out and buy his books. Any subject.
Addressing critics like LSD, about cliche; everything and the human condition has
been written about already. Marriage, illness, deadly accident, malevolent action
it is ALL old news. Look at Sumerian stories ,the Bible, etc. It is the talent of the
writer that brings to life something new from the same old ingredients. In this case
only the first three.
As the comments attest SP deserves acclaim for this story, not disparagement !
Heck, constructive criticism is good but we paid SP nothing for the effort. I
know I can't write like he does. Thank you Slirpuff and please write again.
I am AMerryMan
First, heartstrings pulled, so good job there. A vivid and moving word-picture you drew, SP.
Second, not really a LW story, imho. The marriage, its dissolution and possible resuscitation, and the entire wife character, were secondary or even tertiary to this tale. It was part of the setting more than anything else, so it feels a little out of place in this category.
Third, it has the feel of a part of a story, rather than a story. The end, or perhaps beginning, of a tale. I've learned that a story must have setting, plot, characters, conflict and theme. This lacked plot. It was him going to care for his dying sister. That's it. No major conflict, except against the remorseless ravages of cancer. No highs and lows, treatments sought and hopes raised and dashed. Just an steady progression towards the inevitable. So, the story seemed incomplete.
And it was short. The stuff about the protags failed marriage, and his newfound service to others provides some thematic and setting material, but it is really not necessary to the story. Trim that stuff, and you have a very short story indeed. Basically: I loved my sister, we were very close, she got sick, I was there for her, she died. The rest was filler. Nicely developed filler, but where's the meat?
As a subplot in a larger story about the protag and his (ex- ?)wife's marriage, it would be both more effective and more of a LW story.
Gave it a 4, cause it was moving and well- (if incompletely-) executed.
I feel filled with compassion. Thanks for sanding off some of my rough edges as the holiday season approaches.
The story was well written and up to the technical standards expected of Slirpuff these days - didn't mind the LW tag, though it is a minor background to the story.
What I'm surprised is how even excellent authors like Slirpuff sometimes screw up the plot/ ending, with just 1 or 2 stray sentences - Steve's marriage with Mandy is in turmoil (for whatever reason), they are working on it when his sister Beth gets cancer. The wife divorces anyway because Steve isn't working on the marriage and instead tending to his sick sister during her last days, and is very vocal about that AND bails out. And, an year or so after the sister dies, texts offering "any" help, after bailing out when he needed her the most (even as an occasional friend) ?
And Steve is talking to the ex-wife again to see if the relationship can be mended ? He missed hearing her voice ? Is it because there are no other females left on the planet and only Mandy is around?
people dig deep and discover their own humanity TK U MLJ LV NV
Not funny at all, with no happy ending, and no sex. This was the perfect opportunity to combine incest and necrophilia, and you blew it!
Ah well, gave you a five anyway.
This short story told more than what is written in words. A feel good story with a purpose! You don't have to have sex in it to make it good. Sometimes just the deep emotion of people is all you need to make it work.
The modern womans answer to being asked for better or worse, in good times and bad.
His ex bailed on him because his family died or was dying.
Wonderful story. It is easy to get so wrapped up in what we have lost, to realize there are so very many who are worse off.
............and it just keeps getting harder. Thank you Slirpff for reminding all of us.
Story I've ever seen you do...and I've read everything you have posted here...THANKS ! ! !
"I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet."
When I am disquieted because of my troubles, often I think of this.
This story serves us all well to remind us.
5*
Regards,
-Pultoy
In my opinion the purest story I've read of yours. The Loving Wives category is just wrong though.
Only he can say, but I have zero respect for the ex-wife, begrudging him his time with his dying sister.
You can bet if SHE was dying his sister would not only completely understand why he would have to neglect her to be by his wife's side, she would be there too.
I really didn't feel like crying anymore... it was heart-rending in a word...
On the other hand everyone needs a GOOD cry every once in while and even if he never benefited it would have been nice to see some of the ripples of his kindness...
A lovely little story. Slirpuff, so nice to see another post from you. Please, don't let it be the last!
I really liked the story... any story that makes me think positive thoughts is in my opinion a great one...
Normally I give 4s/5s and if the story is real bad and I hate the ending I don't score or very very rarely give a 1*.
Slirpuff seems to have spoiled this excellent story with this paragraph towards the end: Mandy and I have started talking again. I sent her an e-mail and followed it up with a phone call a week later. I hadn't realized, until recently, how much I missed hearing the sound of her voice. Though I'm not sure if anything will come of it, at least I'm trying, and not for Beth but myself.
I don't understand why would a wife who divorces him when he is supporting a dying sister merit any feeling - the main character (and by extension Slirpuff) lost my respect for this (just in the context of this story).... But for the offending paragraph this story was a 5* for me.. I didn't * this story.
leave the old one where its at, TK U MLJ LV NV
Was it a Loving Wife story? Nope. You barely knew he was married. This needed to be in a topic folder called General. Yes, I get he was suffering from the loss of his sister. Nice general story.
beautiful, and well written, but so emotionally intense that it was difficult to get through.
I too am glad it is as short as it is.
It is definitely a story that Could be in the Non-Erotic category, but I fear that would limit the number of readers who would give it a look.
There is NO way I would want ANYTHING to do with the ex-wife.
We don't know why the marriage was in trouble, since we're not told I can only assume it wasn't anyone's fault.
That being said, that his wife could be so unfeeling to not only not help her sister-in-law, not only begrudge her husband the time HE spends helping his sister, but divorces him while he is caring for his dying sister, puts her in the category of someone I wouldn't piss on if she was on fire.
To even THINK of re-connecting with her is a recipe for disaster.
Hooking back up with her is a mistake of the first magnitude.
His stories are well written and moving. In the last two years I've lost 5 people who were very close to me so this really hit home.
5*s all the way!
I know where this story is coming from. Life sucks at times. Good writing, Slirpuff. Cheers!
A sad and all too frequent testimony to the shitty part of life.
Thank you for your hard work.
Woodmanone
I'm just as close to my wonderful sister. If anything ever happened to her, I don't know what I would do.
This is a great story, and touches on quite a few emotions. The only niggle, and it is almost just one line, but it detracts from the story in my opinion. The story is in part a story of his selfless acts, and it ends with him talking to his ex again, who in parts sounds very selfish herself. She probably doesn't deserve him.
I enjoyed this story a lot. I have no idea in which catagory it belongs but I am very happy that I happened upon it. It is well written and has a good message. I like the touch at the end about him talking to his ex again and leaving that open. The spreading her ashes on a field of flowers is awesome.
Thank you for sharing this story.
Sweet story, but I agree with those who would have nothing to do with the ex.
We REALLY learn about others in times of crisis, and she showed her true colors.
If she was a HALF-WAY decent person she would have AT LEAST not given him grief about the time he spent helping his sister, better she would have pushed aside their differences and HELPED him with her. Presumably she was friendly with his sister, to have a woman there to help him with his sister would have been good.
Why on earth would you post this sorry story? You do realize that this is a porn site, right? If I wanted to read this kind of stuff, I'd go to a literary site. No more of this please.
You´re wrong! This isn´t a porn site, - it developes more and more into a "Cuckold-Homepage", a site, where people can sublimate their own impotence by writing or reading stories gloryfying wimpy traits. It is a breath of fresh air seeing some authors produce stories with a plot and nicely developed characters. Too high for you to grasp? Never mind; I am sure English Bob & Friends will continue writing stories you can use to get off.
Not sure this was the right category though, as you get all the weirdo & cuck lover commentators here. A very moving tale of real sibling love & the devastation of the death of one & the breakup of a marriage. A very well deserved 5 *****
When you get married, you become part of another family. That means when your sister (sister in law) gets cancer - you do not quit on your husband. You muscle up and do your damn job. Love is not merely a warm mushy feeling in your pussy. It is giving a shit about someone other than yourself. It is kind words of caring and encouragement, it is acts of selflessness. It is not taking a shit on your husband while he is trying to hold it together for his sister. Find someone else, someone better. They are out there.
died of cancer....it was a long, slow, painful death....and I was with her every step of the way - through doctors visits, chemo treatments, radiation treatments....I watched her fight with every fiber of her being....slowly losing....until she was gone from us.... leaving this mortal world at 3 AM in the morning.... I was called at 3:10 and was at the hospice at 3:20....I kissed her goodbye - feeling what little warmth remained - I was too numb to cry...but my heart broke even though I was prepared. Now, nearly every day, sometime around 3 in the morning, I wake up and lay in my bed remembering before falling back asleep.
I was only 28 years old, my wife 27 and with two children barely starting school. She took care of me, did everything I couldn't, even though it would take most of a decade for me to recover from a brain injury. Never once did she slip and leave me wanting, not ever did she use a harsh word, even when I would ask her the same question, something two or three dozen times in an hour.
Now, 30 years later, my brain has rewired itself and our marriage is just as strong as ever, truly we are one. Is she perfect? Perhaps not, but to me, she is as close as one could possibly be. I won the lottery with this one and we married while still teenagers almost 40 years ago.