3: Scars Remain Ch. 04

Geez Louise

This chapter is a recorded message from the previous one.

I think the high score streak has just ended.

your writing skills are strong

But sooooo much jesus stuff.... enough!

Just to be contrary, the reliance on religion by Kaylee and other characters are just fine, because that is who they are. I do have to admit that Luke's continual inability to face up to reality is getting a bit long in the tooth. Yes, he has problems, but this constant view that Kaylee is too good for him and she should just move on with her life is a bit over the top. That said, I am sure in our universe there is someone just like Luke, but they are not necessarily an enjoyable read after a while. Maybe the next chapter will move toward healing the large holes in Luke's head.

Great Chapter!

While, I see several comments on here that are putting down your inclusion of faith in your story, I find it to be a nice change of pace that adds some needed depth to the characters. As a veteran, I can also appreciate how you are developing this story and are what you are trying to accomplish with the plot. Thanks for your continuing efforts to entertain me and I will be waiting impatiently for your next chapter.

Keep going

But a happy ending very would be nice. :)

As for the religious aspect, it fits and HE would most likely appreciate the faith

Religious aspect

I have absolutely no issue with the religious overtones, quotes, etc.. It works within the framework of your tale. The issue is the repetitiveness of Luke. This has gotten old. Yes he is scarred, yes he has PTSD. But it is being overplayed to the fair thee well.
It is time for him to shit or get off the pot. His whining about not being good enough, is tiresome.
It would have been better served to show him working through it rather than cutting bait all the time. Of course Kaylee was scared. But after the emotions calmed, she learned that Luke truly loved her. Pity Luke has no faith in her as she does with him.
An interesting side story with the hooker, I mean escort. Would like to learn more in context with the story line.
Time to move it along.

Don't sweat the negative comments.

While it is never enjoyable for a character to wallow too long, I don't believe Luke has overdone it yet. That being said I think there needs to be a measure of hope here that Luke will pull out of this.
Also I would love for someone to say to him, you're not being noble by running away and leaving no word with not only your girlfriend but your family as well, in fact you are being a selfish asshole for worrying everyone. I mean he was presumed KIA and then he disappears on his family completely again? You don't get to pretend to be noble while you knowingly hurt those you claim to love.

Move It Forward

I agree with the comments about moving forward. It is getting boring. I have started skimming over areas just to get to a point that is trying to be made. I am getting tired of Luke's poor poor pityful me attitude. For a guy to be strong enough both physically and mentally to survive his ordeal behind enemy lines means he has a will to survive and move forward. The chapters about his return home and dealing with PTSD are not about the same person I grew to like and respect.

good but getting predictable

Good but the writing is starting to get cyclic. Luke loves kaylee. Luke does something stupid kaylee is heartbroken. Repeat. What's next? We saw kaylee really growing as a character but now both of them are pretty stagnant.

Hard to read

but well done and necessary for the characters to get where they are going.

Forget those of us who sit on the sidelines and carp, write it your way.

I'll be reading.

And thinking of my next door neighbor who fought too many wars so that I might read this site. He relives then every day and can hardly walk.

This is your story, write it as you feel

As someone suffering from PTSD I can tell that I closely relate to what Luke is going through. I met someone earlier this year, someone who totally stole my heart, but having this baggage I carry everyday led me to believe she and I had no future together. Just like Luke feels about Kaylee, I know that my "she" would be better off without me, so much better off not having to deal with me and these damned demons I fight.

Reading this story has been cathartic, please keep writing but please do it your way.

Angels among us

A bit of following up on an earlier comment; I lost my "Kaylee" and wallowed in the dark fog for a while--Attention To Those Who Have Never Been In The Valley: until and unless you've BEEN there, don't judge those who have. If you think this author's writing is predictable or cyclic as one comment says--go to a recruiter and sign up for active combat units. When you come back, if you do, you can talk. You won't though. I've been there and I KNOW.

Back off my soapbox for a moment. I lost my Kaylee, but there are angels among us. I totally at random and on a whim explored some stray thoughts and I'm currently engaged to the one I can't live without. In one of those you would not believe if you didn't live it, she is the niece of a sniper who was hunting me in the winter of 1986. He found me. I'm still here. About a year later I went to the family and explained the situation--I was THERE, and I've always felt it necessary to speak with the families of those who fell. I ate a reprimand for that, obviously. But it made a huge impact on a young Ukrainian girl at the time. It took her five years to locate me when she grew to adulthood, but she did, and proved to me there is a path away from that dark valley. Thought you'd like to know the angels DO walk with us, even though you clearly have known this before now. The truth is not only stranger than you believe, it's stranger than you CAN believe. I lost my Kaylee, and an angel came just when I was at the point I did not care again.

Side note for PTSD afflicted: Someone DOES understand. Find a good therapist. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Navy is really good at finding them. (I'm an old Army guy!) If you can find a way to Tampa there are several at the Naval hospital there. There's even a few at China Lake. Please look them up. The dragon does not have to rule the rest of your life.

Brendan
1SG, 1-75 Infantry (retired).

its very different

C0nsidering the name of this site, and maybe the religi0us stuff has s0methng to do with the decreasing fav0rites(n0t dat im opossing to it of c0urse)..but i like it, like i said ab0ve its diferent and dat makes it really interesting. Im just h0ping dat it wud be over s00n because it kind of taking l0nger dan wat it sup0sed to be,

regarding cyclic events

On the point, I agree with Anon, but have to argue in this instance. Yes, Luke and Kaylee seem to suffer and resuffer, etc, etc. However isn't that the basic definition of Life? May of us who must learn again, repeatedly one lesson until we can 'move on'? This is a facinating story that has kept me reading into the wee hours and back again the next morning. As for the all the references to God and his saving and restorative Power, I commend you. People forget that God created everything, including sex and it is natural to feel it. I add my kudos, Spartan and hope to see more from you. Thanks.

KEEP GOING

You have many fans of this series. Please keep going. There are so many of us who love the story

Nice work

Giving you a 5. I like the fact that this story is like a 'slow-play'. It doesn't rush to the sex for the sex itself. It tells a story that could be similar to a couple in the US right now.
I look forward to more editions of the series. I am very much a fan of your character development and want to see how things resolve/turn out for our protangonists.

Brendan

Thank you for your service, Sir. May God bless you - now and always.