All Comments on 'Forever Yours'

by Stargodiss

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  • 5 Comments
Oldbear63Oldbear63over 10 years ago
This old romantic

Loves expressions of love - but help me understand the really short lines?

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
Short lines

unless other wise indicated, merely mean the absence of long lines.

Brevity can be a virtue

both in width

and length

LesseloovesPeterLesseloovesPeterover 10 years ago

I like the shape the short lines give the piece, something soothing about it.

todski28todski28over 10 years ago
the ending really caught my attention

If you had done one of two things, with the ending,

either

Together

I am

Forever

Yours,

or

Together

I am

Yours Forever

you would have highlighted a rhyme, and either one of those ways is what I was expecting, since you wrote it inverting the line at the end avoiding an end rhyme or an enjambment rhyme, it highlighted it for me.

StargodissStargodissover 10 years agoAuthor
The short lines and meaning

Thank you for the comments!

The way it is worded and put into shorter lines keeps each line with a separate meaning and also a combined meaning with the short surrounding lines as well. Every break in line is a pause that has meaning. Some of the lines do not join as others do and those lines complete one set of thoughts before moving into the next set. It is written this way intentionally to fully express the meaning in every word and every thought. It took a long time to get the placement of the words just right, to say exactly what I wanted to say. Sometimes less words, placed intentionally, can carry much more meaning behind them :)

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