A Family

Yes, this is fantasy, but . . .

"My family went to a cabin and we all started fucking." You should have some build in the story, some character development, some teasing or flirting. In most stories, much of the excitement comes from the anticipation. This story had none.

Me Too

Yes, I also believe that a four sentence build up leaves much to be desired.

agreed

hslf the fun of an incest story is you ca normally be sure of a good story, not just a fuckfest. vharacter and build-p is something to be encouraged.

Belongs In Non-Erotic

Awful!

really hot and kinky

It's hot that he and his sister Molly became man and wife and had children together.

Having his mom and three sisters to fuck would take a real stud to keep up with all of the horny women, and it was hot that he did.

A good story.

Thanks for the read.

SHORT AND TO THE POINT

I wonder who your target audience is for this story. It might work for a quick jack-off by a young horny kid. I think you'd really have something with more work. With as many players as you have this needs to be a 5 or 6 page story. Take time to build up to the action. Buildup is to writing what foreplay is to sex. Remember the story about the two bulls on a hill looking at a herd of cows. The young ond says,"Lets rush own there and fuck a few." The old bull replies, "No, lets walk down there and fuck them all." Rewrite and walk the lad to each lady so he has time to enjoy the trip.

FOLLOW UP ON "SHORT" COMMENT

Sorry, I hit submit by accident. Please excuse the typos.

As others have pointed out, there's a great story here, but you rushed it. There's no build-up, no character development and generally no sense of "this could happen", which is extremely important when working with an unlikely topic like full family incest. Neither the main character or Molly even question the sudden realization that their entire family wants to fuck them, ffs! And their family doesn't even consider the possibility that they might not want to. it's just wam-bam, now we're having an orgy.

That said, you have talent. You just need to pace yourself and consider all the angles before rushing in.

dynamite

I would love to see another installment of this you did well

not good at all

you have been here long enough to know better than to post a piece of shit like this. time you started listening to the readers and started writing some GOOD stories. delete all your stories and have a GOOD WRITER rewrite them because it seems you can't write to save your life.

Not interesting

have to wonder

you really have to wonder why he wasn't mad as hell when his mom told him his dad had been fucking his older sisters and wanted the younger one also. seems he would be pissed that he was left out until now and want nothing to do with any of them. being ignored or haveing everyone screwing behind your back is not something you forget or forgive so quickly.

Great family

So uninhibited