The author's style needs improving to make the story easier to read. The vast and frequent overuse of "word -- word" throughout which most probably should be a coma if not totally removed would fix this.
I am usually pretty upbeat with my comments, but these two stories were among the worst, ever. Well enough written from a purely mechanical standpoint, but I could not see a single connection to anyone's reality. Not even anyone's fantasy.
Hey Hamster, really?!?!?! You're usually upbeat, but found these two stories among the worst you've ever read?? Want me to send you some links to some truly terrible writing on this site? By comparison these were literal masterpieces....
by
11/29/13
Nice
by
Anonymous12/25/13
That girl was out of control
........needs some moderation.
by
Anonymous02/17/14
Pretty good for what it is: short
Bravo sir, bravo.
by
Anonymous09/28/14
Nice
Hope the baby is a girl then Mike will have 2 hellcats to live with LOL
English
imporve style
The author's style needs improving to make the story easier to read. The vast and frequent overuse of "word -- word" throughout which most probably should be a coma if not totally removed would fix this.
FAIL! Improve Story.
I am usually pretty upbeat with my comments, but these two stories were among the worst, ever. Well enough written from a purely mechanical standpoint, but I could not see a single connection to anyone's reality. Not even anyone's fantasy.
needs to be improved, great use of the crib
Fun story
It was cute...
Hey Hamster, really?!?!?! You're usually upbeat, but found these two stories among the worst you've ever read?? Want me to send you some links to some truly terrible writing on this site? By comparison these were literal masterpieces....
Nice
That girl was out of control
........needs some moderation.
Pretty good for what it is: short
Bravo sir, bravo.
Nice
Hope the baby is a girl then Mike will have 2 hellcats to live with LOL
Breeding time
It looks like it is going to breeding time for Courtney on a daily basis from now on. I hope it takes months to knock the bitch up.
TOO FUNNY
SOO RAPING slut sis will end her childish behavior? this is more stupid than erotic...
Please continue
This is great, continue it lease
more please
Whatt good read thank you
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