I'm sorry but to jump to such extreme measures as to fake a suicide just made no sense. Melisa would always get $$$ form daddy - so the donations would not really hurt her other than put a criminal element to him. The story needed more justification for these actions and for him killing all past friendships/reunions. It is obvious that he would have had no problems with is ex-family-in-law, as they loathed her and revered him.
The story is lacking in this aire, hence a very low 4*.
At first I was simpathic to his plight but, you made his actions way over the top by a wide margin. I understand this is a story but, your writing hints at the possible weakness in some people's character lately. The Simple salution would be to divorce her and make public her actions. You came up with a plan to fake his death taking money that's not his was childish, criminal and just not very smart. You had him betray people who trusted him and abandoned those who thought they were friends who did nothing to him. So now he is with a woman from his past (are you sure all her marbles are in the same bag?) she's willing to drop everything to run away with a man who dumped her! (Hmm!). He should be watching his back running away with a woman he DUMPED! Since you have gone over the top if she killed him and took him money she's home free be cause he's already dead
I'd give your story 3 1/2 stars for entertainment value.
English
I'm sorry but to jump to such extreme measures as to fake a suicide just made no sense. Melisa would always get $$$ form daddy - so the donations would not really hurt her other than put a criminal element to him. The story needed more justification for these actions and for him killing all past friendships/reunions. It is obvious that he would have had no problems with is ex-family-in-law, as they loathed her and revered him.
The story is lacking in this aire, hence a very low 4*.
I read this?
At first I was simpathic to his plight but, you made his actions way over the top by a wide margin. I understand this is a story but, your writing hints at the possible weakness in some people's character lately. The Simple salution would be to divorce her and make public her actions. You came up with a plan to fake his death taking money that's not his was childish, criminal and just not very smart. You had him betray people who trusted him and abandoned those who thought they were friends who did nothing to him. So now he is with a woman from his past (are you sure all her marbles are in the same bag?) she's willing to drop everything to run away with a man who dumped her! (Hmm!). He should be watching his back running away with a woman he DUMPED! Since you have gone over the top if she killed him and took him money she's home free be cause he's already dead
I'd give your story 3 1/2 stars for entertainment value.
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