Great story, nice detail and build up, can't wait for the next part, but don't lose the detail by trying to rush the second part.
Well done
very good story, nice build up though the first person narration was a bit poor
Fantastic story, i can't wait to read what happens next. It got me horny as hell and reminded me of a simialr experience driving along the M4.
Very well written fantasy. I cannot wait to see what happens next. Keep up the great writing.
With the whiny ass first couple paragraphs.
Great start as I am reading from the 3rd story to the start. Very hot and will get them both off if they continue. Cannot wait for chapter 2 then the next step after chapter 3. All excellent, thank you.
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English
Part 2?
Great story, nice detail and build up, can't wait for the next part, but don't lose the detail by trying to rush the second part.
Well done
very good story, nice build up though the first person narration was a bit poor
Fantastic story, i can't wait to read what happens next.
It got me horny as hell and reminded me of a simialr experience driving along the M4.
Well done!
Very well written fantasy. I cannot wait to see what happens next. Keep up the great writing.
You Lost Me
With the whiny ass first couple paragraphs.
Great start as I am reading from the 3rd story to the start. Very hot and will get them both off if they continue. Cannot wait for chapter 2 then the next step after chapter 3. All excellent, thank you.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to My Birthday Present or
More submissions by JocastaFarthingale.